August 15, 2010, ~1:45 am…
“Lauren,” I whispered as I gently tapped her shoulder to wake her up.
“Lauren,” I said a little louder, shaking her gently.
“Lauren!” I finally said out loud. Her eyes popped open and she stared at me. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something about Carmen.” She looked at me intently, not saying a word. “Carmen went to Heaven a little while ago.”
“WHAT?”
After a brief moment, Lauren burst into tears and wrapped her arms and legs around me. We lay on her bed, holding each other as the tears rolled down our cheeks.
“Do you want to go say goodbye?” I asked.
She shook her head up and down, still crying.
I carried her downstairs, where Lana was waiting with Carmen. Lauren didn’t know what to say so I whispered a few things to Carmen for the three of us. Then I took Lauren back upstairs to her bedroom.
More tears. More hugs. “I need a tissue,” she whimpered.
I returned with a box of tissues. We then did the only thing I could think of at that moment. We prayed. We thanked God for Carmen, that she was such a great daughter and sister. As I thanked him that Carmen could now do things she couldn’t do just yesterday, Lauren interjected emphatically.
“Thank you, Lord, that Carmen can walk,” I said.
“That she can RUN!” Lauren added.
“Thank you that she can talk.”
“And SING!”
“Thank you that she is whole.”
“And FREE!”
“We will miss her greatly…”
“YES.”
“…and we can’t wait to see her again.”
“YES.”
After we prayed, neither one of us said a word for what seemed like forever. I knew Lauren was still awake because there was an occasional movement from an arm or a leg. Finally, I asked, “What do you think Carmen is doing right now?”
“She’s walking,” Lauren responded.
“Yeah, I bet you’re right.”
After imagining and talking about all the things Carmen was probably doing at that very moment, Lauren rolled over, looked straight into my eyes and asked poignantly, “How did she die?”
“Well, God decided it was time for her to go to Heaven.”
“No, I mean…did her heart stop?”
“Yeah. It did.”
“Did it just stop or did it go like this (making a downward sloping motion with her hand)?”
“It slowed down and eventually stopped,” I told her.
“Did it go to zero?”
“Yeah.”
“Daddy, will you please tell me a story?”
“Sure kiddo. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little girl…”
