At 1:25 this morning, with her daddy by her side, Carmen Alesandra Coddington took her last breath. She left this earth peacefully and went straight into the arms of her Heavenly Father.
Our minds cannot comprehend the beauty of Heaven but we are picturing Carmen laughing and playing. I keep imagining her standing in magnificent light with a beautiful smile on her face, finally seeing again.
Carmen, you are home.
Carmen Alesandra Coddington
July 20, 2006-August 15, 2010
Photo by Sarah Mattingly
Carmen is very, very comfortable. We are still alternating morphine and Ativan and she is more peaceful than we have ever seen her. It’s impossible to know when she will take her last breath but for today, she is here with us.
I, on the other hand, am completely exhausted. I think I could fall asleep standing up. I am getting enough sleep. It’s emotional exhaustion. My mom (who happens to be a psychologist) always says that when you are under extreme stress, your body shuts down what it can. I think half of my brain has already shut down.
Dave…well, he’s full of energy. Today, I asked him to please go get Hope because I was passed out on the couch. He said sure and danced to the stairs saying, “Woo hoo! I’m Richard Simmons!!!” We respond to stress quite differently. When Dave gets stressed, he tries to lighten things up.
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A few weeks ago, before Carmen got sick, I finally finished choosing and photoshopping pictures of Carmen’s life. I wanted to have the pictures all ready so that when the time came to plan her funeral, it would be easy to quickly make a slide show. Dave is now putting together that slide show. So many memories!
April 2007
Yesterday, Dave and I cleaned out the garage. Dave and I have been on a cleaning, organizing, and donating rampage. Tay Sachs derailed my organizational tendencies and I am just now getting back on track. Anyway, there was a big, white box in the garage that we have been storing for 12 years and carting around through 10 moves. I looked at Dave and asked, “Is it OK if I donate my wedding dress?” Dave said, “Sure.”
Bye, bye wedding dress. You served your purpose well. I hope someone else enjoys wearing you as much as I did!
The Top 10 Reasons I Donated My Wedding Dress:
10. I don’t have too many fancy events to attend where a wedding dress would be appropriate attire.
9. I could s-q-u-e-e-z-e myself into it..if I lost 25 lbs. overnight (parasite? lipo suction?).
8. I don’t look good in white. I should have gone with red. Everyone looks good in red.
7. The likelihood that one of my daughters will wear it is very slim. They would have to 1) get married, 2) fit in it, and 3) want to wear it. I 1) got married and 2) fit in my mom’s but I didn’t want to wear hers (no offense mom!).
6. I don’t want to ask Dave to move it for the 11th time.
5. The wedding dress box says “store in a cool, dry area” and it’s been in the hot garage.
4. I’m not very sentimental.
3. Vera Wang herself did not make my dress.
2. My new motto is: if I don’t need it and am not using it, I should give it to someone who does need it and can use it.
And the #1 reason I donated my wedding dress:
My love for Dave is not dependent on whether or not my wedding dress is stored in the garage!
Love you Dave! Happy 12th anniversary!
The final photo submitted as part of the “Carmen Contest” was this one from Nancy in Iowa. She has eight children (five adopted, four from Guatemala). Thanks Nancy!
That’s it! These are all the photos, animations and paintings that you submitted. Thank you so much for helping us celebrate Carmen and how God has used her to bring us all together. We thoroughly enjoyed all of your submissions! You may not remember but this was a contest…which means that there is a winner. We’ll be announcing the winner within a couple of days along with the prize that this person will receive for winning.
In the coming weeks and months, we are hoping to do more things like this to make Beautiful Canvas “a little less about us, a little more about you, and a lot more about Him!”
Thanks again!
Six months ago, you were born.
You wake us each morning with a big smile. You make us laugh. We love to watch you grow and learn new things. You’ve brought a whole bunch of joy into this home.
Happy 6 month birthday sweet Hope!
And happy, happy birthday to NY Grandma (two days ago), Aunt Ruthanne (yesterday) and Cousin Dakota (tomorrow)!
