Tay Sachs Conference 2008

Now that Carmen is home (and thank you again for all of your prayers!), I’ll write a novel about our fabulous Florida trip for the annual Tay Sachs family conference! I know you have all been anxiously waiting- ha, ha!

We packed our minivan full and left Maryland Wednesday at 2pm and made it all the way to Savannah, Georgia. We stayed the night in Savannah and the next morning took a quick tour around the town. I would really like to come back to Savannah. I love old southern towns. Beautiful houses, trees, flowers, southern restaurants, etc.

Thursday we drove to Tampa and settled into the Tampa Marriott Waterside Hotel and Marina. Well, more like we dumped out stuff into our room and took off for dinner! We were happy to see Dr. Tifft, Carmen’s geneticist, and Stephen and his family (an adorable little boy with GM1-Gangliosidosis, who lives 10 minutes from us). We had a wonderful dinner (ribs and chicken) and met a few families.

This year 19 children with Tay Sachs or a related disease attended the conference. Along with parents and siblings, some grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends also attended. I was pleased to also see that so many families come back to the conference each year, even after their children pass away.

Friday morning we met the other families in an emotional parents’ session. This session was made up of both families with living children and ones who have already passed away. Each family told their story and many tears were shed. I felt like I was in the presence of greatness. Great strength, compassion, perseverance, and love. These are parents who have become true Tay Sachs experts and medical care. Oh, and they could probably teach a class on fighting insurance companies too!

Friday afternoon we attended a round table discussion on the research being conducted to find treatment and ultimately a cure for Tay Sachs. I think the conclusion is that in 3-4 years a drug may be available to break down gangliosides, the fatty stuff that builds up and causes the extensive brain and spinal cord damage in Tay Sachs patients. This time-frame would be best case scenario. It may take much longer to find a cure but we can always hope!

During the day on Friday, Lauren went to Kiddie Corp, the camp for healthy siblings. Lauren had a blast! As soon as we would pick her up for lunch, she was ready to go back! The kids played games, made crafts, watched a movie, etc. Carmen stayed in the nursing care room. A group of fabulous nurses volunteered to care for the children. I picked up Carmen after the morning session, and she was lying on the bed with Rachel, a 9 year old with Canavan Disease. I wish I had taken a picture or videotaped the moment. Carmen and Rachel were facing each other and Carmen’s hand was touching Rachel’s face. It was a precious moment. One of the nurses, Franci from Alaska, spent a lot of time with Carmen and we hope to keep in touch.

Friday dinner was the only meal not provided by the conference so we ordered room service and put the kids to bed! Lauren usually goes to bed by 7pm and desperately needed a good night’s sleep! My usually calm, happy child was having massive meltdowns!

Saturday morning we kept Carmen with us and attended a discussion/presentation on symptom management. We watched a video, Cameron’s Arc: Creating a Full Life about a family who chose less intervention for their daughter. This video really spoke to me. I often question how much medical intervention is too much. After the video, Big Elise’s (a 5 year old with Tay Sachs) nurse spoke about the therapies and equipment used to keep Elise alive and comfortable. I was happy to learn more about the treatment options. It is very hard because part of me wants to use everything possible to keep Carmen with us. But, I think about Carmen’s future quality of life and the reality of Tay Sachs. As of now, our goal is to keep Carmen comfortable and we will use what therapies accomplish that goal.

During the symptom management class, Eric and Nicole, Rachaeli’s parents held Carmen. Rachaeli is a beautiful 5 year old with Tay Sachs. We enjoyed getting to know this lovely family. The conference truly would not be the same without Eric’s philosophical comments and wit and Nicole’s quite, steady calm. www.rachaeli.com.

Saturday afternoon, Dave took Lauren swimming and I went to another parents’ meeting. After the meeting, we went to a Celebration Dinner. I spent some time talking with Little Elise’s (a 3 year old with Tay Sachs) mom. A few weeks ago, I saw a picture of Elise on her website with a Critter Piller neck pillow. I ordered one for Carmen, a pink puppy, and it works fabulously in her Kid Kart.

Sunday brunch we said our goodbyes and took lots of pictures. It was sad to say goodbye. This conference was the one place where our lives are “normal.” We met many wonderful families and to each family, thank you for sharing your story and your children. If I try to name each of you, I am sure I will leave someone out so I will just say thank you.

Thank you also to the families who brought gifts. RJ’s mom gave Carmen a stuffed horse with an RJ pin, Rachaeli’s dad gave Carmen fuzzy socks, PJ’s dad brought pillows with a hole cute out for ears (PJ’s mom made the pillows), and Dakota’s dad gave us a short pole to attach her feeding bag and pump to a stroller (Ken made these himself!).

I want to close my Tay Sachs Family Conference summary by thanking Mario and Marlin, Bryan’s parents from Guatemala. Mario and I have been emailing back and forth for several months. A while back, Mario offered to try to find Carmen’s birth mom to tell her about Carmen’s disease and that she is a carrier. If Carmen’s birth mom was to have another baby with Tay Sachs, AB Variant, she would know what was wrong. I prepared all the paperwork that might help Mario find her and Dr. Tifft wrote a letter explaining the disease. My friend Milagros translated everything into Spanish. I filled a photo album with pictures of Carmen and our family for Carmen’s birth mom. We gave everything to Mario and Marlin and as Marlin looked at the photo album, she cried. Thru a translator (Ruben, RJ’s dad), Marlin said that Carmen would not have had care in Guatemala and how happy she is that Carmen is with us. Marlin and Mario have been thru so much. Their older son passed away from Juvenile Tay Sachs and now their precious younger son fights the disease. Yet they have smiles on their faces and huge hearts. We told them we would like to give them some money to help with the expenses of conducting a search and Mario said no, we are family now. So, to our new family, thank you.

Progress

A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of sitting down with a friend and her boyfriend over lunch. My friend’s boyfriend is an independent contractor for a large software development company. For the past few months, he’s been wrestling with some professional and personal questions. Since I was an independent contractor for four years before choosing a different path, he wanted to get my thoughts on a few things.

It was a great conversation but, to be honest, I am pretty sure that I got more out of it than he did. About 45 minutes into the discussion, he said to me, “It seems as though you’ve changed a lot in the last few years.”

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As many of you know, Lana, Lauren, Carmen and I went to Florida last weekend to attend the annual Tay Sachs Association conference. It was great to connect with the other parents. It was also nice to wear shorts and t-shirts in March! At the same time, it was really tough to see the progression of this disease in the other children. It was also hard to see so many other parents struggling with all that this disease entails and what it means for their children and families.

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I was reading Psalm 15 this morning while eating breakfast in Carmen’s hospital room. I love this chapter and read it often. I cannot adequately explain this passage but here is my summary, what I get from it. Do I want to be close to God? If so, I must pursue true character, which can only be found in God. If I really pursue the character of God, I will not be shaken by the painful events in life.

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Like many of the other parents whose children have degenerative diseases, I wrestle with the realities of it and wonder, “Why Carmen? What did she do to deserve this?”

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, when our current situation would have crushed me to the ground. There would have been little left in me except bitterness and anger, little left of me except of pile of rubble.

While I am far from a person of great character, I do recognize some of the changes God is making in me as I pursue Him. It seems as though you’ve changed a lot in the last few years. Yes, that is true. I have changed in the last few years. More accurately, God has changed me a lot in the last few years. And I am extremely grateful!

That is a truth that I overlook all-too-often. I am not yet the man I want to be but praise God that I am no longer the man I once was (my paraphrase of Martin Luther King Jr.). Thank you, Lord.

Thank you Chris, Eric F., Mario, Andy, CF, Eric K. and many others who have reminded me recently that God is up to something…and we are all invited to participate. God is up to something in me and through me.

I can’t wait to see it unfold!

Home!

We are HOME! Carmen was discharged this afternoon. She sounds like she is in horrible distress but her heart rate is back to normal and oxygen levels are fine. She took an afternoon nap and was at 99% oxygen and 100 heart rate, which is fabulous! We are to keep her away from other children until she is cleared by Dr. Pedreira so I will take her back to the doctor on Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks to Michelle for dinner and to Claudia and Eric for the yummy cake! I can see why that is your favorite German dessert!

I can’t remember if I mentioned that my father-in-law is here to help with Lauren and whatever we need. He is always ready and willing to jump in the car and drive 6 ½ hours from New York to help us. He is a huge help and Lauren LOVES having her Grandpa here to play tea party and tent and Prince and Princess. Thanks Doug!

I will be typing up a summary of our Florida trip to the NTSAD conference (Tay Sachs conference) and to Disney World, so stay tuned!

Update from the Hospital

Carmen is doing much better today and might go home Saturday or Sunday. The doctors are weaning her off the oxygen and she is doing well. She has slept most of today which is good. Yesterday she was so restless she could not relax but today she is much calmer.

Last night Carmen had a 25 minute seizure. We (a nurse, doctor and me) watched her carefully. She did not seem uncomfortable and was not in distress, so we waited it out. We could have given her Valium to stop the seizure but we did not want to further compromise her respiratory status. Carmen has an appointment Friday with a white matter specialist neurologist so we hope to get her on a seizure meds cocktail to control these long seizures. Right now she is just taking Keppra for seizures.

Carmen will be seeing an ENT shortly after discharge. Looks like we will be able to get her in quickly (being in the hospital always speeds up appointments!). Her stridor (loud, high-pitched breathing noises) is getting worse. From what I have seen, Carmen seems to have more of a problem with this than other Tay Sachs children.

I am also hoping we can push forward with getting The Vest approved by our insurance. The Vest is basically a more effective way of doing manual chest physical therapy to loosen up junk in the lungs. Once the mucus is loosened up, it can be suctioned out. The Vest is a modest $16,000 (ouch!).

Pastor Joey came to visit Carmen this morning. We had a wonderful visit. I think I looked frightful in my pajamas and with my wild hair mess! Oh well, humility is good for the soul, right?!

Thank you to Kobe for dinner! We really enjoyed that taco meat! And, thanks to Indira for taking Lauren for a playdate today. Thank you to Karen for taking Lauren yesterday. She said you fixed her hair!

I want to also thank Dee, my friend who also adopted a little girl from Guatemala. Wednesday after Carmen was admitted, I rushed home to get some clothes for the hospital. Lauren was falling apart tired and in no mood to let me get anything done. A package had come from Dee so I opened it and Lauren had a blast playing with all the girl stuff from Dee! I was able to pack everything up and could hear Lauren happily organizing all of her new treasures and playing make-up! Thank you for the jacket for Carmen. We have had some wet, windy days lately and this fits her perfectly.

Thank you for all of your prayers for Carmen! They are working.

RSV

Yesterday I took Carmen to her pediatrician because her normally heavy, noisy breathing seemed more labored than usual. Dr. Pedreira took one look at Carmen and called 911. Carmen was taken to the hospital by ambulance and Lauren and I followed. Carmen has RSV and will be in the hospital in the pediatric ICU for at least a few days. She is getting high-flow nasal canula at 10 liters to open up her lungs. Yesterday she was working hard to breathe. Today she is still having periods of rapid breathing but seems more comfortable now.

I feel horrible because this really snuck up on us. I had no idea Carmen was so sick. I waltzed into Dr. Pedreira’s office all ready to tell him that I wanted Carmen to see an ENT for her increasing stridor (loud breathing). We met children with Tay Sachs this past weekend and none had Carmen’s noisy breathing. I guess her “normal”, noisy breathing had turned distressed but I didn’t catch it. The doctors think Carmen was exposed to RSV this past weekend while in Florida. I am hoping none of the other children at the Tay Sachs conference get sick too.

Thank you to Sarah for coming to the ER to take Lauren for the day! She had a blast! And thank you to Shar and LaToya for visiting us and for lunch. Thanks to Karen for dinner last night and today. And finally, thanks to Monica for coming to visit today! You are so much fun to talk to!

I had a whole lot to say about the Tay Sachs conference but will have to wait until I get home.

Please keep Carmen in your prayers. It really hit me yesterday that I am not ready to let her go.