Lauren said something cute the other day. We were eating lunch and all of a sudden she asked, “Are you my birth mom?” In Lauren’s world, adoption is the norm. She has been asking for a brother named Carlos ever since we brought Carmen home!
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Out of the Mouth of Lauren
Carmen had her surgery one week ago today and is doing fairly well. She does have fussy times during the day (totally uncharacteristic of her) so we continue giving her Tylenol/Motrin. It’s hard to see Carmen uncomfortable and we do our best to figure out what could be bothering her.
Lauren has been saying some cute stuff lately:
In preschool, Lauren is learning the 10 commandments and they are up to Honor Your Father and Mother.
Lauren: Mom, you are a wonderful cook.
Me: Thank you, Lauren!
Lauren: Mrs. Ellis said I can honor my mother by telling her she is a wonderful cook at dinnertime.
This comment is funny because Lauren is the most picky eater ever and I think she was having warmed up left-over Super Bowl pizza and grapes!
Lauren is all into playing “getting married” with her dolls. I officiate over weddings everyday! Couple of days ago I made a comment that got a very teenage reaction from Lauren.
Me: I think you should marry TJ when you grow up!
Lauren: (rolls eyes) Whatever.
Now, TJ is a wonderful friend and Lauren loves to play with him but he’s a year younger than Lauren. Maybe being the older woman won’t bother Lauren in 20 years! Ha!
Switching gears, some of you know that we have to move out of our current home in July when our landlords move back in. We moved into this townhouse in August because we really wanted to be near our church (1.75 miles away). Lauren goes to preschool at our church, Church of the Redeemer, and we plan for her to attend elementary there too. Lauren also goes to Awana and I am part of MOPS. We felt that being as close as possible to our support system was very, very important while caring for Carmen. Now we are faced with another move and have decisions to make. My mother-in-law and I found a beautiful home with a main floor bedroom and bathroom (just perfect for Carmen) near us. Our current townhouse has stairs all over the place and it is getting dangerous. I was carrying Carmen up the stairs recently and lost my balance. I caught myself with my knee. Carmen’s feeding tube was under my knee and she cried and cried and I felt AWFUL! So, our two huge goals are 1) to stay near our church and 2) to find a place that doesn’t involve carrying Carmen up and down stairs. Lots would have to happen for us to buy or rent such a home so we ask for prayers. Around here, most everything has stairs (lots of multi-level homes) so I was excited to find the house with the main floor bed and bath. We are asking God to make it very clear where we are to live. I sure hope that this move is the last one for a very long time. It would be nice to not have that stress right now.
Paper Dolls and Pilates
Today was a restful day. I have one million things to do but decided to just enjoy the girls. So, I held Carmen while playing paper dolls with Lauren. Then Lauren and I did Pilates while Carmen napped and later gave each other manicures! Nothing quite like letting a 4 year old buff your fingernails and apply cuticle oil!
This morning Carmen’s Physical Therapist showed me how to position Carmen for chest PT. Carmen looked like an acrobat!
We have a fun weekend coming up. Lauren’s good friend, TJ, is turning 3 and we are all going to his birthday bash.
Carmen’s 18 month checkup was yesterday and she is now 27 lbs. and 32 ½” tall!
Jesus in her Heart
We are sitting here waiting to be discharged. I just had the honor of meeting Carmen’s little roommate’s family. I mentioned this sweet little girl before. Her parents have three adopted children, two medically fragile. I am humbled by their attitudes, love, and complete unselfishness. We did not purposefully adopt a terminally ill child and I am in awe of people who choose to care for very sick children. I think I have a lot to learn about giving of myself. I am becoming a very different (hopefully better) person because of Carmen.
Dave called last night to tell me that he and Grandpa took Lauren to our church’s Living Nativity. Afterwards, Pastor Joey did an invitation and Lauren raised her hand to accept Jesus as her Savior! She whispered the words as Pastor Joey prayed and then went up with Dave to talk to Pastor Joey. She is barely four years old but I think she meant it. I cried when Dave told me!
Turning 32
Today is my birthday. My friend Karen had a lunch at her house with a few mom friends and kids. Karen fixed yummy chocolate-cherry cake. Thanks Karen! Lauren and Carmen both had a nice time. Carmen gets tired out when we go places and took a little nap on my shoulder. She is such a cuddly baby! Lauren played with her friends and only came to find me to ask for a second piece of cake!
Tonight Dave got my favorite- Indian food! Carmen and Lauren gave me hand lotion and a nail kit. Dave gave me Red Letters by Tom Davis (author of Fields of the Fatherless). This looks to be my kind of book. The introduction starts with an apology. Tom writes, “The Christian church owes an apology to the almost fifty million individuals in our world currently infected with HIV/AIDS. Those of us who claim to follow Christ’s teaching should be ashamed for what little we’ve done to help the countless millions of women, children and orphans who have died or are dying.” Dave and I certainly aren’t doing enough to help the plight of so many in Africa. We sponsor a little girl in Malawi thru World Vision. I am looking for ways to do much more.
Since today is my birthday, I’ve been thinking about the past year. This was definitely one of the most exciting and the most heartbreaking years I’ve had. In one year we brought Carmen home, found out Carmen has Tay Sachs, AB Variant and sold our house at a huge loss and moved into a rental. It was a hard year and I don’t even remember the person I was a year ago. It makes me cry to think that as hard as this year was, a harder year is coming when Carmen loses her battle against this disease. I try not to dwell on the fact that Carmen is dying. There is ALWAYS room for a miracle! I want to enjoy each day with Carmen and Lauren. It has only been 4 months since we found out something was very wrong but seems like a lifetime.
As I write this journal, I am watching the CMA (County Music) awards. I do love country music! Kellie Pickler made me cry!
