Hope turned 7 months old two days ago. It is hard to believe that Lauren is in first grade and it is even harder to believe that Hope is growing up so fast!
Hope is on the go all the time. She started crawling at 6 months and hasn’t slowed down yet. In fact, she’s so busy scooting around that she hasn’t learned to sit up yet. When we put her in a sitting position she immediately flips herself onto her tummy and takes off crawling. There is no stopping this girl!
Here’s Hope, hiding out in the kitchen. She often finds hiding places. If she is quiet for too long I know she has found a stash of Lauren’s toys. Lauren never had to worry about her toys being covered in baby slobber when Carmen was little. Dave is doing his best to convince Lauren that baby slobber isn’t gross. Lauren is not convinced.
Hope LOVES baths now. She kicks her feet so hard that taking a picture during bath time is challenging. I stood as far back as I could and zoomed in but the lens still got a bit wet!
Hope is a sweet baby and we are extremely grateful to have her. Love, love, love this baby girl!
It is hard to believe that a year ago, we watched Lauren climb on board the bus and head off to school as a kindergartner. I was a bit anxious and so was Lauren, although no one would have known Lauren was anything other than ecstatic about her first day of school. She smiled and skipped her way to school. Later she told me that she was nervous.
This morning Lauren woke up and said, “I am SO EXCITED! I LOVE school!” She is especially thrilled to have her best friend in her class.
I am not one of those moms who laments the first day of school. I loved school so much as a kid that I just expect my kids to love it too! And, the truth is, I enjoy a break. And I’m quite sure Lauren enjoys a break from me. 
Here’s our cutie-pie, all ready for first grade. (Last year Lauren was fine with her preschool princess backpack. This year she had an opinion about her backpack. She requested rolling luggage and presented a compelling case: she needed rolling luggage to avoid hurting her back while carrying all of her supplies, homework, lunch, etc. She is a LOT like her daddy!)
As many of you know, we held a burial service for Carmen in upstate New York last week. Thankfully, we didn’t have to do much of the planning for this service as Dave and I were both exhausted from the past few weeks. We did, however, have to make one choice, the color of Carmen’s vault. With any color available, Dave chose orange since Carmen always looked wonderful in orange.
In case you don’t know (I didn’t), the vault is put into the ground and then the casket is placed inside the vault. Once in the ground, no one can see the vault. It’s just there to protect the casket.
At first, I thought choosing orange was strange but once I saw it I thought it was a great idea. Carmen did look wonderful in orange.
The cross on Carmen’s vault
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Thanks so much for all the cards, emails, flowers, gifts, meals, and donations to Mi Refugio and NTSAD. We appreciate your love and generosity so very much!
After Carmen’s burial service in New York, we drove to Lancaster, PA. We wanted to do something fun with the girls. We gave Lauren several options and she picked a horse and buggy ride as one of our adventures.
Doesn’t this horse look like he is smiling?
Now he is sticking his tongue out at us.
Lauren got to sit in the front seat with the Amish driver.
Trotting along the country road.
Hope enjoyed the ride too, despite only napping for 30 minutes all day long!
It’s strange to be able to do whatever we want, whenever we want. I catch myself looking around for Carmen. When 7pm arrives, I think that the night nurse should be arriving. I glance at the suction machine, thinking that I need to make sure it is charged. This new “normal” is going to take a while to get used to.
On Tuesday, we buried Carmen’s body in a family plot in upstate New York. Her grave is at the foot of Dave’s grandpa’s, under a tree. Dave’s grandpa was a truly wonderful man and I feel honored to have my daughter buried so close to him. I know it’s just their bodies, not them. But, it still brings me comfort.
Dave’s dad led the burial service. The service was attended by family and a few close friends. I think there were eleven kids present. We wanted the kids to feel free to ask any questions they might have or make any comments. They raised their hands and asked questions like, “Where is Carmen now?” and “Why is the hole so deep?”
It seems so final.
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