We watched the movie Courageous this week. One line stood out to me.
“You can be angry at what time you didn’t get with her, or you can be grateful for the time you had with her.”
That’s TOUGH.
But so, so, so true.
Sometimes I think Dave and I had it easier. Meaning we had such a long time to figure out how we were going to deal with Carmen dying. I think about people who suddenly, unexpectedly lose a child or a spouse. Or have a child kidnapped and never found. Or have a child who endures extreme pain for years and years. Carmen was unaware and unresponsive, a blessing to her. I don’t know…I just think that there are worse things. I suppose that’s helpful to me. Tay Sachs was BAD but it could have been worse. Yes, that is helpful.
I am grateful for the time we had with her but I do wish that we could have had a longer time of happy, healthy Carmen in this life. We really only had a few months, from 6 to 10 months, before Tay Sachs started taking over.
Death, dying and losing family and friends is easier to think about in the context of eternity. It’s easier to be grateful for a short time on earth when Heaven is waiting and eternity is a very, very, very long time.
Carmen, photo taken by Rashmi Pappu
For many years after my Mom went home to be with the Lord, I stewed over the fact that my older sisters had her much longer than I. For some reason that thought really bothered me. Finally, one day as I was missing her, the Lord seemed to say, “Why mourn over the things you never had, instead be thankful for the years you had her”. WOW I am sooo thankful for the 37 years I had her and for all the lessons she taught me. I still miss her, but I’m 28 years closer to seeing her again. I love your thinking! If you take the time to look around you, you will notice there are always worse things. Everything seems easier when we view life with eternity in mind. The picture of Carmen is absolutely beautiful! As of today, you are a day closer to being with her again.
Kevin and I watched “Courageous” Sunday afternoon. I thought it was very good and the statement also stood out to me. I thought of Carmen when he said it. I also thought of my friend Don who was killed in a car wreck at age 19. Mother went to see his grandmother (who had adopted him as a baby and raised him as her child) and she said, as soon as Mother walked into the room, “I am so grateful for the 19 years we had Don.” Mother was so impressed with her attitude and I have never forgotten it.
Such a beauty. Look at those lashes!
And yes, it is all about perspective and attitude, isn’t it? It doesn’t make it any easier, but being grateful and finding the silver lining makes it bearable.
What a powerful quote. That pretty much sums up how I feel about my dad’s death. He spent 5 days with me in Guatemala and then passed away very unexpectedly one week after he and I flew home. Instead of feeling completely cheated, I felt entirely lucky. My dad met my two guat tots. I gave him the option to see baby Gracie on the ultrasound at the OBs office in Guatemala…he passed on that but did see the pictures. He celebrated Easter with Mariela and Juan Carlos and Juan Carlos was the only grandchild my dad celebrated a birthday with. There are still times when I am sad that my dad has missed so much; however, I will be forever mindful of the immense blessing God gave me.
Your attitude is a blessing! Yes, Tay Sachs is bad but there are things that are worse. God blessed Carmen in so many ways. Thank you for sharing.