In all the hub-bub of our move, we never posted about Shar’s funeral. I’m not sure anything I say will do it justice but I wanted to share a few thoughts from that day.
(For anyone who hasn’t read Shar’s story, click here.)
We almost didn’t make it to Shar’s funeral. Shar passed away the week before we moved from Maryland to California and her funeral was held the day we moved. The funeral was in the morning, the walk-thru with our landlord was around noon and our flight to California was late afternoon. Dave and I were so very thankful that we were able to attend. I would have felt like we left Maryland with something undone if we hadn’t been able to say goodbye.
I have never known anyone besides Jesus who touched so many people’s lives. Shar GAVE. She showed up. She was willing. She just did what needed to be done. During the funeral service, friends and family were asked to share their memories of Shar. So many people got up and told what Shar had done for them. Every single one of us could have told our Shar stories.
Dave and I didn’t ask for the microphone and share all of our Shar stories but I sat there remembering so many times that Shar made me smile.
One time I took Carmen to the pediatrician because she was breathing harder than normal. Her doctor took one look at her and called 9-1-1. As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Carmen and I were rushed back to a room in the ER. A few minutes later, a nurse walked in and said, “You have a phone call at the front desk.” I was shocked as no one knew I was at the hospital yet. I hurried to the desk and the receptionist handed the phone to me. “Hi Lana! This is Shar. I tried your home and cell and when you didn’t answer, I thought you might be at the ER with Carmen. So, I’m calling to check on you!”
Who does that???!!! Who else but Shar would just call the ER, thinking we might be there?! And she was right!!!
Shar showed up a little while later with snacks and bottled water.
That was just her. A lady on a mission to help others. Because of everything Shar went through with losing her four children, she knew how to help and how to serve and just what we needed.
Everyone was Shar’s best friend. Apparently she told quite a few people that they were indeed her favorite! Many people stood up at the funeral and announced that they were Shar’s best friends. The joke became, “No, Shar told me I was her best friend!” Shar knew just how to make everyone feel loved and special. What a gift!
Shar was in the hospital for the last year of her life. One of the nurses shared her story of meeting Shar and caring for her. The nurse said that when she first walked into Shar’s room, Shar said, “Hi, I’m Shar. What’s your name?” The nurse told her and then Shar asked, “Where are you from?” The nurse said Africa and Shar said, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. We are friends now!”
That was so Shar. Everyone’s friend. Even the nurse who bathed and cared for Shar called her a friend.
I came away from Shar’s funeral wanting to do more and be more. I want to help people. And to be a friend.
To say the least, this was an emotional funeral. I’m sure there was not a dry eye in the whole sanctuary. Hundreds and hundreds of people came to celebrate Shar’s life. A few years ago, Shar shared her testimony at MOPS and a portion of her message was played at the end of her funeral. I wish I could remember her exact words. It was like Shar was speaking directly to all of us, right from Heaven. This is not the end. We have so much to look forward to.
During the three years that Dave and I took care of Carmen, Shar was my inspiration. I thought about how she was the most joyful person I knew. Joyful despite her circumstances. Losing her four boys could have ripped her to shreds and made her a bitter, angry, reclusive lady. Instead, she took that pain and ministered to others. She talked a lot about the hope she had in Jesus and how one day she would see her boys again. More than anyone I have ever known, Shar was focused on Heaven. She knew what was coming and was excited to share it with everyone she met. Heaven wasn’t just some floaty angel place, it was real.
I smile every time I think of Shar in Heaven. She’s having a blast with her boys. She’s with Carmen. And I can just imagine her marching around, getting things done up there!
Shar, I just want to say thanks. Thanks for sharing your life. Because of you and Rick, Dave and I knew exactly how we wanted to face Carmen’s life and death. Thank you for choosing to be better over bitter. Thank you for being our friend.
Balloon Release at Shar's Funeral
