Peace That Passes Understanding

Dear Family and Friends,

As you know, Carmen hasn’t been doing very well since last Saturday. A few nights ago Carmen once again spiked a fever and had 80% oxygen levels despite 5 liters of oxygen. She wasn’t able to tolerate her feeding and was breathing 86 breaths per minute. Since then, we have been giving her Tylenol and Motrin to keep the fever down and alternating morphine and Ativan to keep her comfortable.

Carmen’s life on this earth is nearing its end. As you can imagine, this is excruciatingly painful.

Yet, somehow, it is joyful at the same time. A few years ago we met with our pastor and talked through all that we were facing with Carmen’s disease. He said to us, “What a privilege you have been given to usher this child into the arms of God.” We keep thinking, Carmen, you are going to HEAVEN! You are going to meet Jesus! There are streets of gold and a mansion waiting for you. You will be able to run down those streets and laugh and play. You will be free from this disease. You will be WELL!

Amidst all our tears, we have a real sense of peace. But, we know that the next days will challenge everything we are holding onto. So, we ask God for the peace that passes all understanding, peace that we believe can only come from Him. Please, please continue praying that we can keep Carmen comfortable and that we end this journey well.

Thank you,

Dave and Lana

79 Responses to “Peace That Passes Understanding”

  1. Rhonda (Guat adoptive Mami to 2) August 6, 2010 at 10:12 pm #

    Praying each of you feels His strength, peace and love surround you. What a beautiful choice He made in bringing Carmen, Lauren, Hope, Dave and Lana together. We are all better for witnessing your love.
    Hugs to Carmen and to you!!

  2. Anna August 6, 2010 at 10:12 pm #

    Thinking of you all!

  3. Penny August 6, 2010 at 10:29 pm #

    Lifting all of you in prayer.

  4. wes. August 6, 2010 at 10:31 pm #

    The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the LORD. Carmen, know this, your uncle is jealous. Godspeed sweet one.

  5. Trish August 6, 2010 at 10:43 pm #

    Our hearts are with you all…too full for words…had a good cry with you on the phone…

    LOVE YOU ALL!

  6. Allison August 6, 2010 at 10:49 pm #

    As we say in mass, may the peace of the Lord be with you always. Sincerely, I do wish that for you–it does seem that peace is not what you have had and what Carmen so needs. Thinking of you.

  7. Becky Warren August 6, 2010 at 10:59 pm #

    So powerful. So heartwrenching. So special. I love you all and I am still praying for my Carmen and all of you… I’m not giving up on you Carmen! You are SO amazing and STRONG. God loves you, and so do I, pretty girl. <3

    Love, Hope, Prayers,
    Becky
    xoxoxo

  8. Karen in MD August 6, 2010 at 11:09 pm #

    You both do have great privileges to be given the task to usher dear Carmen into the arms of God. Stay strong. Our family is lifting yours in prayers. We are just down the street=)

  9. Lori August 6, 2010 at 11:31 pm #

    My heart aches for you all. My prayers are with you.

  10. Kathy August 6, 2010 at 11:32 pm #

    The Grubens are praying for you in New Mexico. We’ve walked with you for the past couple of years and prayed along behind the scenes. Praying that the Lord gives you such strength, hope, encouragement and peace during this impossible time.

  11. Jess D August 6, 2010 at 11:35 pm #

    Praying for your family during this hard time. I pray for that peace in knowing that Carmen will be back in heaven loving Jesus! Praying for God’s loving arms to carry you all!

  12. Liz Warren August 6, 2010 at 11:43 pm #

    Praying for true peace, love you, Carmen!!!

  13. carrie c August 6, 2010 at 11:59 pm #

    Praying for all of you…may the Lord wrap you in his arms as he calls his Angel home….

  14. Dad August 7, 2010 at 12:11 am #

    Lana, I have complete confidence in God and in you and your family to be who Carmen needs toward the end of her life. You’ve done a great job as her parents, and sister (Lauren), so I know you’ll continue. Yes, my prayers for Carmen are that she will be reasonably comfortable until she sees Jesus. Love always, Dad

  15. Sandi August 7, 2010 at 12:18 am #

    “Dear Jesus, Please hold this wonderful family tight in Your loving arms….”

  16. Nicole August 7, 2010 at 1:16 am #

    “God, make your presence know to this family now more than ever. Be with them as they watch Carmen’s life on earth come to it’s completion and her life in your eternal kingdom begin.”

  17. Nadia August 7, 2010 at 1:59 am #

    Praying for comfort and peace of mind.
    May your family feel the love that God showers over you now and always.

    Hugs and love across the miles
    and a kiss from lil Timo for sweet Miss Carmen

  18. stephanie August 7, 2010 at 6:41 am #

    Praying for you. Hugs from NC…Stephanie

  19. Janet August 7, 2010 at 6:53 am #

    “Dear Lord, hold this family in Your loving arms and grant them the peace and serenity they need to travel this leg of their journey well. For only You know their hearts and their deepest desires, please give them what they need. May angels surround them and Your love enfold fold as Carmen finds eternal life.”
    You are in our thoughts and prayers. Janet

  20. Joe Jordan August 7, 2010 at 7:02 am #

    Hi Lana, Some times it is so hard to write but just know I do pray for you all very much. Love to you each, Joe

  21. Denise August 7, 2010 at 7:57 am #

    Dave and Lana, I’m sorry, I have no words to bring you comfort. I am praying for you. Denise

  22. Oralea August 7, 2010 at 8:04 am #

    Sending you many prayers of peace and prayers of comfort for Carmen. Sending our love and keeping you in our thoughts at this time, Oralea (William’s mommy)

  23. Leah August 7, 2010 at 8:07 am #

    Praying for you. Thank you for sharing what your pastor said. That gave me some comfort as well.

  24. Amy Ruggiero August 7, 2010 at 8:27 am #

    our pastor always closes with “may the God of peace be with you always and truly in all ways.” Wherever you need peace, may God grant it today.

  25. Rashmi August 7, 2010 at 8:33 am #

    I wish I knew the right words to say. Dear Carmen, wishing you a safe and peaceful journey back home. Many many many hugs to you Lana and Dave.

  26. Diane August 7, 2010 at 8:36 am #

    Lana and Dave…..I keep your family in my thoughts constantly. You are an amazing family. I have learned so much from Carmen although I have never met her. She taught me more than people I have known for years. You are all so special. I hope that Carmen is comfortable. I truly believe that Carmen knows how many people she has touched in just her 4 years here on Earth and someday she will be smiling down on all of us when she sees us put into action all we have learned from her.
    Most sincerely,
    Diane

  27. Julie August 7, 2010 at 8:43 am #

    Praying for peace and comfort for all of you during this difficult time.

  28. Pat Futch August 7, 2010 at 9:02 am #

    I am praying with all the others who know and love you. You have my deepest admiration. I know God will sustain you.

  29. Sarah August 7, 2010 at 9:15 am #

    Praying for you all. My heart aches for you. This has been a long journey and you have remained faithful through the pain. May Carmen’s remaining days be as peaceful as possible and may you know the peace that passes all understanding during this time and the months that follow…. Sarah

  30. Rikki Shunk August 7, 2010 at 9:16 am #

    I can’t even begin to imagine what your going through right now, just know that your family is always in my prayers. I pray that God gives you the strength you need each day and for comfort for dear sweet Carmen.
    Love to you all, Rikki.

  31. dani August 7, 2010 at 9:22 am #

    praying for all of you…

  32. Aunt Sharon August 7, 2010 at 9:58 am #

    God has given you a sweet angel. She is visiting for a while but will soon be in her home in heaven. God is waiting with open arms for her. He will care for her in His loving arms will you are able to meet her again. You have been her parents in every way. Just as you have adopted her, she will be adopted by her wonderful Lord and Savior for a little while. It will be a twinkling of an eye to her but will seem like eternity for you. We are all praying for you all. Wish we could be there but know that your last hours with Carmen are precious and you need that time with her. We love you all. We are praying! God is with you because he promises that He will be with you always. Love you all.

  33. Barb Flournoy August 7, 2010 at 10:06 am #

    Oh, dear Lana and David, I was weeping abundantly as I read your tender words of love for the beautiful child that God so providentially put into your care. May He wrap His loving arms tightly around all of you and, indeed, give you that supernatural “peace that passes understanding” as you await His timing for ushering her into His Heavenly Home where she will experience “joy unspeakable and full of glory”. Will continue in prayer for Carmen and all of you that God’s perfect plan will unfold in His timing. Love and hugs in our sweet Jesus sent to you today!

  34. Stephanie August 7, 2010 at 10:09 am #

    Lifting you all in prayers….may there be peace, comfort and Joy in Carmen as we walks with Jesus and goes to His Big House, for a room of her own, toys to play with and other to run, giggle and dance with…

  35. Carrie T. August 7, 2010 at 10:22 am #

    We are thinking of you in North Carolina. Although we never met, I’ve felt a part of your lives, connected by adoption from Guatemala. You are both so strong. I have learned so much from you both. You are amazing people and parents. We are praying for Carmen that she is at peace.
    Carrie T. and Bella

  36. Marilyn August 7, 2010 at 10:24 am #

    May God grant all of you His peace as you travel this path. Know that all of you are in my thoughts & prayers. God bless you!

  37. Kristian J. August 7, 2010 at 10:27 am #

    Thinking of Carmen and family and praying!!

  38. linda Ivins August 7, 2010 at 10:39 am #

    I am saddened by the fact that I never got the chance to meet Carmen here on this earth…..but then I am happy about the fact that I will meet her and see her some day in Heaven. I will never experience the Tay Sachs that she went through but I will get the chance to experience her w/out it.

    I am praying for you guys and I know that this will be a very bitter sweet time.

    Please tell Lauren that I miss her smile and I hope she will come visit us again real soon…I need someone on my side when the nieces and nephews gang up on me in the pool. She is a real sweetheart and we had some great times while she was here with her cousins!!

  39. Janet Tabler August 7, 2010 at 11:03 am #

    I have been there for my two sweet baby friends Charles Lee and Isaiah at this transition time. My heart is breaking for all of you. My deepest prayer for you is that you feel Gods presence at this most difficult time. Love, Prayers and Hugs!

  40. Betty Short, NY Grandma's Friend August 7, 2010 at 12:04 pm #

    “Praise the Lord!! Praise the Lord, I tell myself! I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God even with my dying breath.” “He heals the brokenhearted, binding their wounds. He counts the stars and calls them all by name. How Great Is Our Lord!” From Psalms 146 & 147. His Word is our strength…. Sending you all love!

  41. Rebecca Carter August 7, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    Dave and Lana,
    May the peace of God be with you all. You are in my prayers.
    Rebecca in New York

  42. karen August 7, 2010 at 1:18 pm #

    Dave and Lana,
    I have followed your journey on adoption.com as well as here. We have a 9 year old from Guatemala. She had brain surgery last year, and as scarey as that was, I always felt stronger knowing what you and your family have endured. You are all in our prayers. Karen

  43. Monica Gettleman August 7, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    Carmen is in my thoughts and prayers…

    Monica Gettleman

  44. Ally August 7, 2010 at 1:37 pm #

    May God’s peace be with you at this time, may his loving arms hold you tight and may you always lean on HIM during times of sadness. He Will uphold you, He will sustain you and He will always, always love you!
    Peace be with you sweet Carmen.

  45. Missym August 7, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

    Lana, you are all in my prayers.

  46. Alison (from Sidelines) August 7, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    Thinking of you all.

  47. Christina August 7, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

    My heart aches for you and it seems that there are no words to adequately tell you how much I feel for each of you. I am praying that you will feel our Savior’s love and peace now more than ever, and that you will be comforted by Him every moment. The only hope we have is in Christ. Never let go of Him…

  48. Karen Ledsham August 7, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    Please know I am praying for you all and I am always thinking about you but I find it really difficult to write x love Karen x

  49. Amanda August 7, 2010 at 5:13 pm #

    You are in our prayers!

  50. Jacqueline Boj-Sode August 7, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

    “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows;”
    Isaiah 53:4a

    “It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
    They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
    The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
    The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
    It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.”
    Lamentations 3:22-26

    “For the LORD will not cast off for ever:
    But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies.
    For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.”
    Lamentations 3:31-33

    I am praying Carmen has a gentle, peaceful transition into the arms of her Lord. And I am praying for you, her family, to be comforted and to be strengthened as you grieve her iminent death. May you grow closer to each other, leaning upon and supporting each other. May God be glorified, and may the Deceiver not gain a foothold in your lives. In your weakness, may Christ’s power be perfected. His grace is sufficient.

    with love,
    a friend of Trish C

  51. Heidi (Woertendyke) Armao August 7, 2010 at 7:43 pm #

    Praying for your family.

  52. Jen Backus August 7, 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    Numbers 6:24-26 “The LORD bless you and keep you;
    The LORD make His face shine upon you,
    And be gracious to you;
    The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
    And give you peace.”

    The Lord is with you in all things. Remember this as you walk through Carmen’s last days. Your pastor is right in that you have been duely chosen to walk Carmen to Heaven’s Gate. It is a high honor, a blessing and not a curse though it does take time to see it that way. God is good. He is faithful. All the time and in all things. Savor every moment, every breath on this side and know that once Carmen steps foot in Heaven, her spirit will be freed from her failing body to be more near to you than you can even imagine. She will be more alive in Heaven than she ever was on Earth and I know she will let you know it. May the Lord keep you in all things and bring you peace. He holds you all in His hands. He surely carriers our burdens and gives us strength to do what we must. Be strong in the Lord; that is the only way to walk through this.

    Much love.

  53. lynn lott August 7, 2010 at 8:45 pm #

    praying for incredible peace and comfort that can only come from the Lord!!!

    in HIS love and mine,
    lynn <

  54. Veronica, Mike, and Zach August 7, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    We are thinking of you and praying for you. Please know our arms are around you, hugging all of you.
    All Our Love,
    Mike, Vern, and Zach

  55. Kelley Giles August 7, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

    I have followed your journey from the beginning and check daily for updates on your beautiful family. Carman has been such a blessing to your family as her family has been a blessing to her, I can’t imagine that you would not end this journey well. You have not only been strong beyond anything I can imagine but you have been faithful, to each other, Lauren, Hope and Carmen but most importantly to our Heavenly Father. You’ve loves, cared for and given your all to Carmen and the reward is that she will be waiting for you at Heaven’s gate as beautiful as ever, well and healthy! She’s fought the good fight… Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

  56. Lisa Duncan August 7, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    I am praying for a peaceful journey for Carmen. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Find comfort in knowing that Carmen will be playing with all her friends and will not be alone. God bless you.

  57. Teri from Missouri August 7, 2010 at 10:54 pm #

    I am thinking of your family in this very difficult time and I hope that Carmen is resting comfortably and that your family is not to sad to enjoy this precious time with her.

  58. Trish August 8, 2010 at 2:13 am #

    I wanted to call today…to see how you are doing…to chat with Lana, but know that you all need your time together.

    Just know, our hearts are with you even though we are not there.

    LOVE…LOVE…LOVE…tons and tons across the miles.

    Aunt Trish

  59. dangitAnge August 8, 2010 at 7:30 am #

    Praying for you all.

  60. NYGrandpa August 8, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    Grma and I have so much enjoyed having Carmen’s big sister, Lauren, with us for the past 3 weeks. I heard someone tell me a story.

    Imagine if your employer told you when you arrived at work, “Take the rest of the day off and go home early or do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”
    What would you think?
    What questions would you ask?

    “What’s the catch?” He replies, “None.”
    “Will I still have a job here tomorrow? “Yes, take the day off.”
    “Will I still get paid?” “Yes.”
    “Will it be charged to my vacation or sick leave?” “No that will not be charged.” “Just go home early and have a great day.”

    That would be amazing wouldn’t it?
    Think about that when you you think of Carmen. God is, in a way saying, “You are going home early and you will spend the rest of Eternity in MY presence.”

    I think that helps me with the whole concept of Carmen’s eary departure.

    • Betty Short, NY Grandma's Friend August 8, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

      Thank you, NY Grandpa, for this message. 40 years ago today I married the man of my dreams. He went home early 25 years ago. Until now, I didn’t have that viewpoint. This story is Uplifting….

  61. Tricia August 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm #

    I have been following your journey. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Carmen’s time with us here may be short but she and your family have touched so many lives.

  62. Janet August 8, 2010 at 1:38 pm #

    Dear Dave and Lana,
    I just wanted to let you know that I shared your site with members of my Church Family. They, and their friends, are holding you in prayer. They have been especially touched by your story, your faith, and your love. Several have children who have returned home to Jesus first. They had the greatest empathy for your journey having traveled similarly before. I continue to hold all of you in prayer.

    May God’s peace be with you. Janet

  63. Kathi and family August 8, 2010 at 2:22 pm #

    Dear Lana and Dave,
    I wanted to let you know that Den, Bobbi, Stevie and I hold you tightly in prayer! Your journey has taught me so much about faith and strength over the years and I feel blessed that you chose to share it with others including me. Carmen has taught so many here about God and His precious gifts. When she is in His arms, she will be watching the ripples of her life and the lessons taught because of her time here. Many prayers and much love,
    Kathi

  64. Jessica August 8, 2010 at 4:05 pm #

    May God’s mighty hand grip you during this time. May you feel His strong, capable hands around you. Lord, I ask that you rain down your presence upon the Coddington family. Wrap them in Your arms, let them know Your comfort, Your peace. Father, thank You for Carmen’s life and that she will spend eternity with You jumping and leaping and praising the KING!! God bless the Coddingtons. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  65. Susannah August 8, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    I have been a faithful follower of your amazing family since I was introduced to your blog via Rashmi. Just wanted to let you know that you all are always in my thoughts and prayers and especially right now. Wishing you comfort and love during this unbelievably difficult time.

  66. nancy August 8, 2010 at 7:50 pm #

    It’s scary and beautiful at the same time. You are all very brave and courageous. May you be blessed as you are holding, singing and talking to Baby Carmen in her last days, as she is ushered into the arms of God. A special prayer goes out to Lauren, who is a special little girl herself.

  67. Michelle Smallin August 8, 2010 at 9:12 pm #

    I just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you and Lana, Carmen and the rest of your family. All of these comments, especially your dad’s Dave, are spot on with my heart. I am praying for all of you that God will give you His loving grace to walk through this with Him.
    Love,
    Michelle

  68. Carolyn Aldridge August 8, 2010 at 9:25 pm #

    I just wanted to let you know we are praying for that “Peace that passeth all understanding” for you all.

    Love,
    Carolyn

  69. Amy August 8, 2010 at 9:32 pm #

    My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family.
    Amy

  70. Annamarie August 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm #

    I follow your blog daily. Please know that your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers.

  71. Keri Davidson August 8, 2010 at 11:40 pm #

    Lana and Dave my family has been praying relentlessly for you. Just want you to know that everytime we pray I hear the song beauty from ashes. That is what He has done and continues to do! You and your precious family are greatly loved here in Texas. We continue to cry out for mercy on your behalf!

  72. Debbie August 9, 2010 at 7:01 am #

    Lana and Dave, I have followed your blog for over 2 years. I too, have a little one one from Guatemala. Each day, when I check your blog, I am truly amazed at your strength as a family. You are amazing parents, partners and friends. Your support group is a testiment to that! Your honesty and willingness to share this journey is beautiful. Carmen is a precious angel that was sent here for a purpose. Your love and gentle ways with her have enabled her to teach us all so much. As she is now called home, please know that your family is on the minds of so many. Thinking of all of you and wishing you peace.

  73. Sharon (in NC) August 9, 2010 at 7:34 am #

    May God hold you, comfort you and bring peace as you go through the next few days. Be at peace knowing that you made a difference in a little girls life and she truely knew love from the beginning. God give you strength, I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

  74. Brooke Foster August 9, 2010 at 8:03 am #

    Thinking and praying for Carmen and your family!!!

  75. Jeremy Bartell August 9, 2010 at 7:59 pm #

    Hey guys… we are praying for Carmen and you… we love you and miss you greatly. It is overwhelming to consider the responsibility that you have been given. But it is awesome to see the strength that He has provided to you…

  76. Toni Marie August 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm #

    Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless You All…

  77. Alison August 10, 2010 at 1:51 pm #

    You have done so much to make her life on earth beautiful. You are amazing and lovely parents. Jesus now awaits his turn for the cuddles.

  78. Uma August 11, 2010 at 11:39 pm #

    I am so privileged to read about your amazing family. You have seen and experienced so much in your life and come through it all with such grace and dignity.

    Rashmi has told me so many times how wonderful you all are. I am thinking of Carmen and her journey this point on, and Lauren, with such an indomitable spirit. Both these wonderful girls have seen so much in their lives and yet(even though I haven’t met them), I will always think of their attitude and spirit, especially when I have moments more challenging than I think I can bear.

    I am thinking about your family. God Bless.
    Uma (Rashmi’s cousin)

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