July 5th, 2007. It’s a day that will stand forever as one of the most pivotal days — if not the most pivotal day — in our lives. It’s the day that spawned this website. Here is what I wrote:
Erwin McManus said recently that a great cup of coffee can only be truly enjoyed by using our senses of taste and smell. “You may not know this,” he said, “but the dominant experience of tasting something is actually through smelling it.” *
The problem, he says, is that most of us drink our cups of coffee with little plastic lids on them. “We have learned to put lids on our coffee so they keep us safe and don’t burn us.” * But by doing so, we don’t allow ourselves to get the most out of our coffee drinking experiences. We never fully enjoy what could be a great cup of coffee because we’re so afraid of getting burned. And so, we settle for second-best.
***
As I sit here trying to digest what Lana and I were told at the doctor’s office earlier today (that Carmen most likely has a rare — fatal — genetic disease called Tay Sachs), I can’t help but wonder, “How will this turn out to be a really great cup of coffee?”
Is it possible to get burned but still fully taste and enjoy the rest of the coffee? Is it possible to get scalded by grief and loss but still fully taste and enjoy life?
I think so.
But I think it’s only possible if there is a huge God out there, One who loves us, knows what is best for us and allows — dare I say, even directs — certain things to happen because of what only He can see.
That’s where I am right now. I am not questioning God. Really. I am not. I’m not saying that I haven’t ever questioned God or that I won’t ever question Him again. But right now, at least for the moment, I trust fully that He knows what He’s doing even though I don’t understand it at all. And I pray that I stay right here, leaning wholly on Him to do what only He can do.
*Paraphrase and quotes by Erwin Raphael McManus from his message entitled, “Romance Unwrapped # 1″
So here we are on the other side of this cup of coffee. The coffee is still in our stomachs but the cup is now empty. And, honestly, I am in the same place. Really, I have no choice. I have encountered the living God and when that happens, there’s just no other way. Nothing else seems even remotely appealing. He is in control. He knows what’s best. He has our best interest in mind. He can be trusted.
Dave, I am blessed by your trust in God and your display of wisdom. Love always, Larry
Thanks. One of the wisest things I ever did was marry your daughter. As I said to someone just yesterday, she’s the antagonist and hero in my story.
Well to me Dave, you’re the hero, Lana is the heroine and Lauren and Hope are very very fortunate. I think in time as the girls grow up they’ll recognize your contributions to the family and love you even more for the sacrifices you’re making and will make. May our LORD bless you abundantly as you model Him to them. I’m very glad you’re who and what you are!
Praying for peace and comfort!
Thank you Sarah.
Thinking of you and praying for you as well…
Thanks. We definitely appreciate it.
You always help me put things intoperspective. Love guys and continue to pray for y’all.
Probably not always but glad to help every once in awhile!
Hi Dave, I have a hard time writing lately, not exactly sure why but just know I pay for you all very much. God bless, Joe
Joe, We deeply appreciate your faithfulness and consistency in encouraging us through this website. Please know that we understand your difficulty in writing now and continue to appreciate you. Thank you for continuing to pray.
Texas Grandma
Indeed!
I had noticed that you haven’t commented as much lately and was wondering if you’re alright. Hope that sounds right. Anything we can pray about?
thinking of you and praying everyday.
Thanks so much Janet.
Wow! It is truly evident that you have experienced Him in the sense the only a rare few ever do… May He continue to bless you and lead you…
Not sure what to say so I’ll just say thanks.
Not to lessen the rest of your message, but I’ve always wondered why you drink your coffee without the lid on. I keep meaning to ask, and now I don’t have to.
I’m glad I got to meet you – you keep me thinking.
Now you know!
Dave – A great post. One that has me thinking about a particular thing that has happened in my own life and how I have chosen to respond. I appreciate the perspective you continue to bring to me through this blog.
Michelle
Thanks Michelle. This is also a reminder to myself. Far too often, I don’t respond in a good way and react very poorly. I am grateful that God is patient with us.
Hopefully your response to your circumstance is good?
And because Carmen was a very sweet “cup of coffee”, whose life you drank deeply of, you will miss the sweet aroma of her in your midst…if I may take your analogy further to these very sad days.
I don’t pretend to know how it feels to lose a child you have known and loved, nor to wrestle with all the difficulties Carmen had to weather in her life and yours. But I do know a bit about grief and having absolutely nowhere to go with it but God, knowing that was the best place to be, regardless of my questions and those of my extended family. My brother lost his wife in 2002, when their youngest daughter was 13yrs old. My brother then passed away four years later, leaving my niece and her two older brothers without either parent, two weeks before my niece’s high school graduation. A few short weeks later, one nephew’ wife lost her young brother from complications after a motorcycle accident. It seemed it all just kept happening to my niece and two nephews and their families. I still have to wonder why they had to lose both parents and then this young family member. What on earth was God up to? But I can only rest in the fact that God does know what He’s about, as He uses those losses in their lives in an effort to draw them to Himself.
Your family certainly has reason for questions, but you are so blessed to know on Whom you are leaning, in the midst of your heartaches.
The deep loss and loneliness you are feeling for Carmen is a testimony to the fact that every human life is of such great value. It’s not what we can accomplish or contribute that makes us valuable. We are intricically valuable because God creates each of us in His image. Carmen reflected parts of God’s image that no one else ever has or ever will, simply because God never makes a duplicate. That speaks to the amazing greatness of God, I believe. So when one human being passes away, the world has lost something very, very valuable that can never be replaced. God in His goodness gives us “new Hope” in new lives, but the one who is gone has left an unfillable void in the world.
But the good news is that those lost to this earth in Christ are in heaven, completing God’s plan for eternity in ways we won’t understand until we see it “face to face” ourselves.
Take care. I continue to pray that God blesses you will all you need at this time in your lives. “Though you pass through the waters, they will not overwhelm you.” I believe that is in Isaiah, but don’t quote my reference.
Nancy in the Midwest
Absolutely, Nancy. Your words have fed my heart and soul in a way I didn’t realize I was hungry. Thank you for showing us…. Praise The Lord….Hallelujah!
Thank you, Nancy, for your wise and healing words.
Texas Grandma
Indeed, that’s a good word. Thanks Nancy!
Thanks for reposting. I wish you did not have to know the pain and heartache that you do. But there is comfort in knowing that you see the hand of God in your life, in the past, present, and the future. I continue to pray for your family; that God would give each of you what you need as individuals and as a family.
Janet
Thanks for your prayers Janet.
I only found your blog by accident, but I just wanted to express my deepest sympathies on your loss. As a mom myself, I cannot imagnie going through what your family has experienced. I hope that you are able to get the strength you need from family and friends and know that Carmen is now free of any pain.
By accident or otherwise, welcome, and thanks for your encouragement.