Several weeks ago, I asked you all if you would join us in prayer for what was then an upcoming kidney transplant between my two brothers. By now, we all know that it didn’t go so well. And so it begs the question.
What do you do when you ask God for something and He says, “No?”
Go ahead. Talk. Or write!
Get angry. Cry. Yell at God. Ask why. Why me? Why this? Why now? And then, slowly but surely, remember that God is trustworthy even when I don’t understand. Trust. Believe. Let go.
learning to wait
Trust Him!
Isaiah 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
One thing I love about all of your comments is that they are founded on Biblical truth. Thanks so much for your explicit and implicit encouragement!
NY Grandma said it all. God is good all the time.
I agree with Tina. We just have to remember that God see the whole picture. It’s really hard to understand why things go the way they do but God knows everything and uses everything for HIS glory. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people and we don’t seem to be abel to rationalize it. In the end, what counts for God is all that really matters. Wes has touched people that he doesn’t even know. They have seen his wonderful courage, his weaknesses, and his faith in God. Oh what a testimony!!!! Bad things happen but when God can be glorified in it, is it really bad? That’s the question. Our human side says no but when we look at it with eternity’s values in veiw, we can say yes. Doesn’t mean we don’t hurt. You know that from your own experience with Carmen. But oh what testimonies you all have. God is great and greatly to be praised.
“Bad things happen but when God can be glorified in it, is it really bad?” Love it!
I hear no all to often and it hurts. Alot. So I bow my head and remember Jesus in the garden asking his Father if there was another way…no…I kneel in silence, I don’t think I say much except “Thy will be done” I don’t know how long I stay there, it’s not really a ritual, just how I find my self and at some point I get up. I don’t think I feel better or peace, I still hurt. I just get up.
Lord if there is any other way, please take this cup from us. Yet not our will but yours be done.
Another great, Biblical response. Thanks!
I think I hear “wait” far more often than “no”. I struggle hugely with having to wait.
Right now I am struggling with just being flat-out disappointed with life.
I like what Joe said. Sometimes the only thing I can do is just get up.
Dave and Lana, if God says “no” to me I usually accept it. Sometimes I check in with Him later wanting to know if His no meant no just for the earlier time. Maybe He will give me a green light now. Maybe not, but one never knows until one asks again…politely. Life can be a disappointment. Lately, I “count my lucky stars” as Jack Ingle used to say when I was complaining about or moping around about something. He was a good man. I miss him.
James 4:3 says, “When you ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives.”
When I’m really honest with myself, I admit that most of my requests of God are completely selfish. And then I wonder…if my motives weren’t so selfish, would I even ask God for half of what I ask of him?
God showed me something today. I’ll try to explain. We, as humans, always want to know “why?” and we always ask God “why” things happen and our hearts want to find meaning in the midst of pain and disappointment. God is good and gracious and patient with us, and He is ok with us asking why. (just check out the Psalms).
I took a step back today and God showed me something from a different perspective. God is in charge and He is Almighty. He spoke the Universe into existence. He created man from the dust. He named the stars and counts them one by one. He holds the world together. He knows our every thought. He determined the places we are to live and be and the times set for us… (you get the point)
So, if God is really who He says He is, maybe our “why” questions are ok, but sometimes out of balance. I asked myself, “Do I ask God ‘why?’ more than I let Him ask me HIS “why?” questions…Let me explain. Is it more about me asking, “God, why did you allow this to happen?; “God, why am I struggling so much?”; “God, why does that other person seem to have a better or easier life?”, the list goes on. Instead I should be letting God, The Almighty Maker of heaven and earth ask ME the “why’s” that are on HIS heart: “Why don’t you trust
me?”; “Why didn’t you tell that person about me?”; “Why aren’t you spending time with me?”; “Why do you keep trying to meet your needs through that sin instead of through me?”…the list goes on.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s ok to ask God the “why’s”. He longs for our hearts to open up to Him authentically. Just consider with me for a second that maybe our “why’s” are imbalanced. If we’re always asking for an answer from Him, but not allowing Him to ask us the tough “why?” questions, we have lost sight of His Sovereign power and Lordship over us. After all, who should be questioning who here???
Reminds me a bit of this:
Leadership Lessons from Catalyst 2009: Andy Stanley and “Making a Mark”
* Most people worry about who’s on their side.
* The question, however, should not be “who’s on my side” but “who’s side am I on?”
* God has invited us to play a part in his story
* Will I submit to play whatever part God has for me?
* Will I seek to make my own mark or have God make his mark through me?
* What will you do? Whatever you decide, you must choose who you will serve (ref: Joshua in the Bible).
We exist to Glorify God. Period.
What brings Him glory isn’t necessarily what will bring us happiness and comfort…joy and contentment, yes…when we align our hearts with His will.
Steve has said this in a much better way than I can ever write to you.
I just know that…
He is good and we are loved.
Always.
We are always loved and He is always good.
No matter how we feel or what seems true.
And, sometimes, sometimes, He sends us down paths that do not end at the goal we thought He was leading us to…we think kidneys, babies, healthy children are the end goals and He leads us directly toward them…what we don’t see is His sovereign perspective on the journey.
We don’t see the 90 degree turn right before the “goal”. We don’t see that the road is leading to a different goal, one with a higher purpose the one that HE wants for our lives to bring Him glory. The MOST glory.
Our hearts. He wants our hearts.
He wants our complete trust in His will, His plan, His right to own us. He wants us to love and trust Him no matter what He allows in our lives.
That’s what He’s been teaching me in the past few years. Doesn’t mean we don’t hurt or feel deeply the losses.
I’m not saying any of this well. I’m too nervous, because I’m afraid I’m not writing clearly and that I will be misunderstood. But I hope in the end it is an answer that He will be pleased with.
Love you all,
Trish
PS. Look at Job. He was a real man, with real feelings, who lost a whole lot more than any of us have ever had all to bring God glory.
Another thought: Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
We have received Christ as Savior and we often forget that is, in the end, what matters most in light of eternity…unfortunately, we live in a sinful world and that hurts…terribly. Because it was NEVER supposed to be this way.
When I get a “no” I look at it as an opportunity to find another road ,meaning that sometimes God wants us to look at the back door possibilities. We may not see the opportunities in situations to get to the same place we pray for and sometimes God wants us to go down another path before we get to our “yes”. Does that make sense? God used a financial situation in our lives recently to lead us down a path that restored our faith in people and humbled us before he answered our prayer in the end. We needed this road to see things in our lives more clearly. There are many roads to the same house and sometimes you have to come in the back door.
Pray, and know that this life is so temporary, though we wish it were perfect, and it’s not…
Believe that no matter what our circumstances, God is still God.
In the end, that’s all we can really do.
Spent a little more time thinking about it…came up with these lists…
Why Does God Say, No?
- Not His will
- Test our faith James 1:3
- Humble us
- To know what’s in our hearts (Deut. 8:2)
- To see if we will still obey Him
- For His own glory
- Tests our patience and courage (James 5:7)
- Because He wants our obedience no matter what
- and yes, because we asked for something foolish
What Are We Supposed to Do?
- Trust Him
- Worship Him
- Rest in His sovereignty
- Rest in His love for us
All of which is easier said than done.
I feel badly that I waited so long to answer this post because after reading some other posters answers I felt that my “answer” would be unsatisfactory – at least not as intellectual. I think I needed a few days to ponder over it! I am afraid that I do not handle it well when I perceive that God is saying “no”. There is usually tears of some form and a little questioning of His judgement, perhaps some backtalk (on my part!), and maybe I then try to reason it out only to come to the conclusion that I know He loves me and all of us and somehow my request doesn’t fit into His plan . (Imagine the nerve of Him not letting me in on ALL HIS PLANS!!!) Somewhere , somehow I come to the realization that I simply need to ask Him to help me accept and trust whatever His judgement is. I find it’s a lot like parenting my children- how many times a day they ask for something and they hear “No”. They don’t understand why and yes there is usually backtalk involved (not on my part!), and in the end I tell them that there is a good reason for my decision. Yet many times I know that doesn’t help them like it any more!
Tonight my 11 year old told me that it would be terrible to have been blind like Lazarus (we debated briefly if Lazarus was blind because I just thought he had leprosy – OK I need to read the bible more!) We discussed that in Jesus’ time it was believed that you or your family were being punished by God if you had an illness. Then I asked him if the man hadn’t been born blind would he have become a believer in Jesus- or would all of those who heard about the miracle been believers? I believe that sometimes our circumstances are a part of a greater picture that is just unfathomable for us to comprehend. I will continue to pray for your family that you find comfort and peace while waiting out this difficult time with Dave’s brothers.
Thanks for your honest response, Anne. I appreciate your perspective and often feel the same way. Thanks also for your prayers.
I don’t believe the saying that “everything happens for a reason.” I really don’t. I think bad stuff happens all the time, and it’s not fair. I don’t understand it.
I have come to a point where I can say “I don’t understand. I don’t like this. I am angry about this. But nothing I do will help me understand the ‘why’. One day…I will know why. I see so darkly through the lenses I have. All I can do is have faith that some day it will all be revealed.
In the meantime, while I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I do believe that once something has happened, there is a lot of good that can come out of it. Sometimes that takes time. But it never means that the bad is really a good thing. But good can come out of it.
You guys are in my thoughts and prayers a lot. And the ripples of your lives are reaching far beyond what you can imagine.