Comments (59) Any guesses as to when Dave will open the bottle of Hope? I will be 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I’m 3cms dilated. My official due date is February 7th.
If you want to take a stab at size, go ahead. Lauren was born at 39 weeks, 5 days. She was 6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 inches long.
You may remember the picture of Carmen that Dave took on her 3rd birthday. The picture was taken in front of the fountains in Rockville City Center. Lauren named it, “To Carmen with Love, Happy Birthday”.
After seeing it on our website, Carmen’s Make-A-Wish representative, Heather, suggested we submit it to a photography contest celebrating the 150th anniversary of Rockville, MD. It turns out, this was a great suggestion because Dave’s picture was chosen for the exhibit. Yesterday, we all went to the opening of the photography exhibit (my first time out of the house in the last three months for anything other than a doctor visit! Hooray!!).
There are a number of other photos in the exhibit, which spans multiple rooms at the Glenview Mansion. Dave is way too humble to say this but I was pleased to see that Carmen’s picture was displayed prominently over the fireplace mantel.
Here are Dave, Lauren and Carmen in front of the picture at the exhibit.
Thank you, Rashmi, for having it printed for us!
Three years ago today, Dave, Carmen and I boarded a plane in Guatemala and flew home.
We didn’t choose international adoption because we wanted to “save” a child. We wanted more children in our family. But, the day we brought Carmen home, I remember thinking that she had just been given a huge gift. She landed on U.S. soil, became a U.S. citizen and started the adventure of a lifetime.
We were given an even bigger gift. We just didn’t know it yet.
I wonder what Carmen was thinking. We looked different, smelled different, sounded different and were complete strangers to her. She went from the Land of Eternal Spring’s balmy weather to freezing cold.
Yet, she soaked up our attention and love. She stared with huge eyes at everything around her. I loved seeing her world open up right in front of her eyes.
Three years ago today was one of the best days of my life. I hope it was one of the best days of Carmen’s life.
Carmen, thank you for giving us such a huge gift these past three years. No one else in this world could have changed us like you have. You’ve never spoken a single word yet your life is a testimony. You are the best example of God’s love that I can think of. We love you despite your complete inability to do anything for us and that is exactly how God loves us.
We love you!
I decided to do an update on all of us. We always seem to have something going on and I never can remember what we have shared and what we haven’t!
Dave: Dave is super busy with work right now. He is still working from home, which has been a HUGE blessing. His Starbucks habit has taken a hit but he is surviving! Dave took a picture of Carmen that was chosen for a photography exhibit. I’ll post more on that later.
Lauren: Lauren has been her usual delightful self lately. Here are some of her recent “gems”:
Lauren and I were talking about initials and I told her that my middle name starts with an “L”. She looked totally shocked and said, “Mom, I thought your middle name was Banana!!!” (OK, yes, I have been called Lana Banana but it never entered my mind that Lauren would think that was my middle name!)
I scheduled back-to-back eye doctor appointments for Lauren and Dave next week. I mentioned to Lauren that she can help Daddy pick out glasses. Lauren said (completely seriously), “I bet he goes for the Spiderman glasses!”
Lauren and I were talking about what she wants to be when she grows up: mommy, nurse, photographer. Then she said, “A Christian. I’ll be a Christian when I grow up too.” Lauren invited Jesus into her heart a couple of years ago but this was the first time she referred to herself as a Christian.
After Lauren went to bed a couple of nights ago, I found a piece of paper on the coffee table that read, “Dear Mom and Dad, I’m so excited for my new baby sister Hope.” (Spelling was a wee bit different.) This made me cry!
Carmen: Carmen continues to have seizures every day despite increasing her seizure medication. They are short, screaming seizures that last 10-15 seconds each. She sometimes has them 6 times a day. Her once hearty skin has changed in the past few months. Her oxygen tubing left a row of blisters on her cheek. We’ve asked all her nurses to make sure the tubing is loose. We have to be careful to rotate which fingers and toes we put the pulse oximeter sensor on as, after one night, Carmen has skin breakdown. She still struggles to maintain her body temperature but we’ve figured out what works to keep her warm yet not overly warm. Despite everything, Carmen seems comfortable.
Hope and Me: I will be 36 weeks pregnant this Sunday! On Monday, I will stop taking Terbutaline and be off bed rest! I’m sure I will feel like I’ve run a marathon, just moving around, but I’m so very relieved to get this far. I just can’t believe that 3 months ago I was in the hospital, wondering if I was going to deliver a micro-preemie. Thank you, God, that Hope stayed put! I am 2cms dilated so we shall see. I suspect Hope will either be born next week or I will have to be induced at 41 weeks!
Well, that’s all I can think of for now. If you want to share how YOU are doing, please do so!
Recently Dave and I were talking to a friend and I said something about Lauren being a really difficult newborn/baby. Dave doesn’t like to correct me in public so, afterward, he and I had the following conversation.
Dave: I don’t like when you say that Lauren was difficult.
Me: Why? She was difficult! She cried a lot, she had reflux and threw up all the time, and she didn’t sleep.
Dave: But she really wasn’t difficult. She was a pretty typical baby. I just think you need to be careful what you say.
Me (after a long pause and lots of thought): Well, do you think it was me? Do you think I just didn’t handle having a newborn well?
Dave: Yes.
It’s been six years since we had a newborn in the house and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Hope will most likely be born in the next couple of weeks (Lauren insists that she will be born this Wednesday!). Are we ready? What will this time around be like?
After Lauren was born I got hit with a bad case of postpartum depression. Not postpartum psychosis like Andrea Yates had but just a feeling of being very, very sad and unhappy. I couldn’t get rid of that feeling, no matter what I did. And I couldn’t figure out why in the world I felt this way. We lost three babies before having Lauren and now my dream had come true. I had a little girl. A beautiful, healthy little girl.
When Lauren was 4 months old, we drove an hour to a friend’s house for a birthday party. On the way, Dave commented that he hadn’t seen me smile in months. I asked him if he thought I should talk to my doctor and he said yes. Now, keep in mind, that I have a psychology degree, my mom is a psychologist and I have been around depression and other mental disorders my whole life. But, I just couldn’t figure out what to do for myself. Long story short, my doctor prescribed an antidepressant and within a few weeks, I felt like a new person. I realized that depression is not something most people can snap out of and there is no shame in taking something to help.
Over the next few months, I started enjoying my precious little girl more and more. I started smiling again. In fact, Lauren made me smile every single day. And she has every single day since.
This time around I hope I do enjoy the newborn stage. But, if I find myself feeling unhappy, I will take my own advice and seek help. (Now that I have written it down, I have to do it!)
Another 34 week 5 day picture.
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