Sunday’s Thankful Couch Musings
- Carmen slept all night and morning and seems comfortable (see below for long narrative about yesterday).
- I am 26 weeks pregnant today!
- Tonight Dave is going to pick up something awesome for Lauren’s Christmas present. Found just what I was looking for on Craigslist. I hope Lauren is as excited as I am!
- I love gaining an hour of sleep. Falling back is much better than springing forward.
- No more Terbutaline side effects! Everyone who said the Terbutaline pump in my tummy would be so much better than pills every 4 hours was right. No more headaches, shaking hands, pounding heart, insomnia, extreme heat, etc.
- A clean house. That makes me very happy!
- Dave, who is functioning at warp speed and doing a super job!
***
Carmen had a very rough day yesterday. Around noon, she suddenly started coughing. She coughed for the next 8 hours. Dave suctioned and repositioned her but she kept coughing. He tried the Vest treatment and nebulizer. He set her up next to me and I suctioned her all day long, about every 5 minutes. We gave her Robitussin to help thin her secretions. We did not want to suppress her cough because even though her cough is weak, she can sometimes get mucus out. Because she couldn’t stop coughing, she did not sleep at all during the day. At 6:30pm, we decided that we had to try something else. Suppressing her cough or sedating her, even if it meant the mucus stayed in her lungs, seemed far more merciful than letting her keep coughing. I called Hospice and the nurse said to go ahead and give her Morphine. The Morphine seemed to relax her a little. At 7pm, Carmen’s night nurse arrived and Carmen got her evening Vest and nebulizer treatments. The nurse set up her nightly feeding but used Pedialyte instead of formula (formula can make her more congested). At 8:45pm, she finally stopped coughing. And then she slept and slept and slept. When I went to bed at 11pm, I checked on her and she was sound asleep and perfectly peaceful with her oxygen at 100% and heart rate in the 70s and 80s (very, very good for Carmen). She slept all morning too.
Recently Dave said, “For Carmen’s sake, I hope she gets to go to Heaven soon.” That made my heart hurt but I feel the same. Keeping Carmen comfortable is getting harder and harder. We are faced with so many decisions about how to treat her and what to do/not do. I could be wrong, and Carmen has proven everyone wrong in the past, but I suspect she is getting tired. Please pray that each decision we make for Carmen is really what is best for her, even if it means she doesn’t live. We know when she enters Heaven, she will instantly have a perfect body and never suffer again. I’m glad we know that.
I so understand but it breaks my heart that you have to be living this. Carmen is such a very lucky girl to be put in your arms for what ever length of time God wants you to have her. I can not even try to imagine what her life with out you would have been or how long it would have been.
God Bless you and pray everything goes well for Hope.
Wow, what a blessing it is to have found your site. You inspire ME more and more with each entry I read!
Hi Lana, I am glad all five of you are doing well. In the last amount of time since I started meeting people on the computer I can say I have seen God work more than I ever imagined. People just like you sharing their lives with strangers have taught me more about faith and God than I could ever learn reading scripture and studying books. Have no doubt that what ever you do for Carmen we all know you do it “for” Carmen. I can not imagine making the decisions you have to make. I pray God’s peace comfort you always. God bless. In Christ, Joe
thinking of you always!!! 26 weeks is great….now lets get to 28! short term goals:) Glad that you are feeling better from the Terb – I totally remember that jittery feeling was terrible!!!
I know that you will do whats best for Carmen, whatever that may be! You know her needs better than anyone else. She will let you know when the time is right – you just have to look for it. Your giving her love and care right now, and thats what she needs the most! Hang in there Lana (and Mr.Mom) !!!
Thank you, Lana and Dave! You are such an encouragement to me. Your statement about Carmen having a perfect body and never suffering again in Heaven reminded me of my aunt. She had polio as a young woman, so had physical challenges the entire time I knew her. Also, for the last 6 months of her life she had respiratory failure and required a ventilator, finally at home. At her funeral we sang a song I had sung many times before, but it took on new meaning as we sang the words, “I’m trading my sickness, I’m trading my pain, I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord.” It was a precious image of my aunt, healthy in Heaven as I had never seen her on earth, and complete in the joy of the Lord.
God bless and sustain your family today.
So glad that Lana is at 26 weeks. So many are praying for you! I am part of a prayer group and we are all praying.
As far as Carmen, my heart is crying for you all. I just can’t imagine what you are going through. So many decisions to make. Trust your instinct, trust your Lord. Thank you for doing such a wonderful job as Mom, Dad, caretaker, loving her, careing for her. A verse comes to my mind and I thought I would share it with you. Matthew 25:40 (New International Version)
40 “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
I think of this verse and know that whatever you are doing for Carmen, you are doing for our Lord. He is using your situation to glorify His name. He will bless you all.
Love you very much.
Congrats on 26 weeks Lana ! I pray everyday that Hope will stay put until she is full term.
Sweet sweet Carmen. I cannot imagine the sorrow in your hearts and the courage it takes every day to make the decisions you have to.
It brings me to my knees to hear you say that you think Carmen is getting tired. I am bracing for the day when I read that Carmen is gone. It touches my heart so much that you have shared your story and your struggles with us and it changes the way I spend each day. Thank you.
Thank you God for Carmens precious life. For letting Lana and Dave be her parents. Thank you for their gift to share your love with strangers. I pray that you will allow Carmen to rest comfortably until it’s time for her to come Home. I pray that you will guide Dave and Lana in the decisions they make for Carmen. We know you are waiting with open arms to welcome Carmen into your Kingdom. It is so hard for us to understand why. Help us to trust you. In your Holy name, Amen
Debbie