Friends When Life Hurts
Everyone needs a friend when life hurts. A friend who can handle crises and somehow knows what to say and what not to say. A friend to be real with who ignores the things we say that we don’t mean. A friend we can fall apart in front of and it’s OK.
Almost 10 years ago, Dave and I went through a rough spot with miscarriages and Dave working in England for a year. During that time I had a couple of really good friends. One in particular, Christina, picked me up and carried me through that time. I am 100% sure that God had us buy a house right across the street from Christina and her husband because He knew I would need my friend.
Today, I have a few friends who are once again carrying me through this time of bed rest and terminal illness. Sometimes I just need to yell, “I can’t do this anymore!” I just hope my friends aren’t overwhelmed by all the falling apart going on around here lately!
Yesterday was one of those days. Dave was in Chicago on business. Poor Carmen was so congested and couldn’t stop coughing. She kept choking and having coughing spasms. I suctioned and suctioned but nothing was helping. Monica the Magnificent came over and held Carmen for hours, patting her back. All that patting helped because Carmen’s breathing eased. Just when I breathed a sigh of relief, things went awry again. The 7pm night nurse didn’t show up. I called the agency and there had been a mix-up in the schedule. They immediately started working on finding someone to cover the shift. Time ticked by and at 10pm poor Carmen had not received any of her 7pm medications, treatments, food, etc. NY Grandpa was getting Lauren to bed. I was in tears. At that point, some elaborate, spiritual prayer was out of the question so I just prayed, “God, HELP, HELP, HELP, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!” Nurse Ruthann arrived a little after 10pm and announced that she could stay until 10am, giving us some much needed rest.
Not only do I have a friends who are there when life is hard, I also have the ultimate friend, God. He can handle crises and doesn’t seem to be disturbed by anything I say. I can fall apart in front of Him and it’s OK.
P.S. In moments of frustration, it is not a good idea to yell out a bad word, even if you spell it instead of saying it. The almost 6 year old sounded it out and then had great fun saying it over and over!
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My friend Cristie said she doesn’t need a blog-style thank you but she is getting one anyway! Thanks for listening to my rantings and for the delicious soup!!! Thanks to Monica who loves Carmen so much. Thanks to NY Grandpa for being ready, with bags packed, to help us. Thanks to Helen and Athos for the wonderful dinner on Sunday night. We enjoyed every bite! And coming from you guys, well, it was extra special.
Hi Lana and Dave. I read your blog daily and have said many a prayer for your family. After reading this update, I felt compelled to tell you that last night around 10, as I was feeding my newborn, I felt an overwhelming need to pray for your family. It was just this nagging feeling that somehow, you were in need of prayers. God is truly marvelous. You are in His hands.
Amen
Thank you Janet.
Hi Lana, I really can’t imagine what it must be like to know Carmen desperatly needs some thing and all you can do is lay there to care for Hope. I am so glad your friends are friends in deed. I am also glad you do thank your friend Cristie on here so we can give a prayer of thanks for her. I pray God bless all your friends, you too Cristie. I hope you have a good night. God bless. In Christ, Joe
I always appreciate hearing real life stories of faith and not ones that involve “super spiritual prayers”. Thankfully I didn’t have little ears around to hear me when my mom was dying of cancer, but I said my share of curse words to God back then. He knows what I’m thinking anyway and he wants to have a real relationship with me. Being honest about my feelings is part of that. I also think that being able to tell him my real, not always pretty feelings helped me through my grief when my mom died much more quickly than if I had tried to be strong.
I often think of how many of the psalms are written – with the speaker starting out saying (in effect), “God, why have you left me? Why do you hate me?” and then by the end, they are praising God and quoting his promises.
Praying for you daily and hoping tonight goes better than last night! Sarah
Lana, I am so sorry that you had such a hectic, (to say the least), day. BUT I am so happy that you have such wonderful friends that surround you. I pray for you, Hope, and Carmen every day! I wish we lived closer to you and I would have brought my gang down there and helped you!! Although that may have made you want to pull your hair out a little more having 3 more kids in your house..lol Kaylee would probably talk your ears off!! lol
I hope that tomorrow goes good for you on your one day out…
Sending you lots of love and hugs,
Kristian J.
Lana, My heart aches for you and your family. It seems it is just too much to bear for one family. Yet, I know God is with you through it all. Ours prayers are with you as we plead with God to keep sweet Hope growing inside of you. I wish I lived near you as I would be so honored to help care for Carmen. Just to hold her would be a gift. Loving you all and hoping the prayers, love and support from friends and strangers will give you the strength during hard times.
Lana,
Denise said it perfectly. I feel the exact same way.
Debbie
You are in my thoughts and prayers. You make me cry and laugh. You’re amazing in your transparency. It makes my faith grow. God be with you and wrap His loving arms around you! love, Wendy
Dear Lama and family,
Sorry about not being in touch for sooo long! Can you ever forgive me?
Love and Prayers,
Liz
Ooooh. I want to hold Carmen!
Also, this message is for Hope, in her uterus location. “See, it’s WARM in there, and like a nice, long bath. Stay in and get really wrinkly!”
Ohhhhh, a long bath sounds wonderful! I have to settle for a hot shower but I am just happy to have shower privileges!
Lana-
I pray that things start to go better for you guys! I will tell you that you are blessed to have those “friends” that you spoke of in this blog. I yearn for a “friend in the flesh” that is really and truly there for me. I know I always have God, but sometimes I wouldnt mind a good girlfriend! =)
Hi Brittany, I think about you a lot today, wonder if you are young or older,sad you don’t have a girl friend truely there for you. Today I read some where this. Make new friends, keep the old, the one is silver, the other gold. I hope for you to soon meet a friend to call your own. And lots of silver and gold as time goes by. God bless. In Christ, Joe
Good morning Lana, Just stopping by to say hi. I hope today is a relaxing day for you and Carmen. Dave, I know you are taking good care of your girls (all 4 of them) so I don’t have to say any thing but get some rest when you can. Like every one else I wish I could help. God bless. In Christ, Joe