Archive - July, 2009

It’s Been Two Years

July 5, 2009 in Dave's Musings, Tay Sachs with 9 Comments

When I play games with Lauren while Carmen sleeps on the LovSac nearby, I stop and think, this isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

When I take Lauren to get a bagel at Panera on a Saturday morning, I stop and think, this isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

When I take Lauren to the park and I am her only friend, I stop and think, this definitely isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

When Lauren runs around with her cousins, I stop and think, this is sort of the way it is supposed to be…but there is supposed to be another little girl running around with them.

When I lay next to Carmen and cover up her ears because there is too much noise around her and it’s making her jump out of her skin, I stop and think, this isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

When we watch a brilliant fireworks display and make lots of family memories together…but Carmen is at home with the nurse, I stop and think, this isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

When July 5th rolls around each year, I vividly remember the day when Dr. Tifft told us that Carmen has Tay Sachs and think to myself, this really isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

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Carmen has brought us great joy and many tears. Most days I am extremely thankful for the joy she provides.  But somedays I just think, this isn’t the way it is supposed to be.

You Ask, We Answer: Will there be more children?

July 1, 2009 in Dave's Musings, Lana's Journal with 53 Comments

Gale K. asked, “Will there be more children for your family?”

Lana:

I had always planned on having a large family. My dream was six kids, a minivan, and a house with a yard and a white picket fence.

Well, life doesn’t always (or often) go as planned and having children has proven to be a rocky road. We have three little babies in Heaven (due to miscarriage) and Carmen will join them someday soon.

I am so grateful for sweet Lauren and for the time we have with Carmen. I LOVE my girls!

One of my greatest struggles in the past few years has been contentment in this area of my life. When you want more children, it is a deep stab to the heart to struggle having children and/or to lose them. I have felt the pain of watching many of my friends easily have one child after another or adopt healthy children. If you’ve been there, you know how much that hurts.

We don’t know the whole picture of this beautiful canvas. Regardless of life’s circumstances, God reminds me often that “Faith is…thanking God when I am left with shattered plans, that He has better plans.” Pamela Reeve

Dave:

Whether we have more biological children, adopt several more, or a combination of the two, I’m fairly certain that more children are on the way. Or perhaps I should say that we’re on our way to more children. Can I explain why our plans haven’t worked out so far? No. Can I guarantee that we’re going to have more children? No. But we will find a way for there to be “more children for our family”, even if we have to move to Guatemala and work in an orphanage.

P.S. We are pregnant (We, being Lana!).

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