Reckless Faith
I picked up Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger at the bookstore this past weekend. The cover caught my eye- a picture of a young Hispanic girl. The back cover sealed the deal. “Time and again I’ve been led to trust God, with my little mustard seed of faith, to see how he not only shows up in our circumstances- but he shows off! It’s not because he needs to prove himself; rather, he is demonstrating to society- the orphans that I serve- that he will be their Father and Protector and Provider.”
For the past two days I haven’t gotten much done as I have read the amazing stories from the Guckenberger’s orphan ministry in Monterrey, Mexico. This is the kind of book that makes me very uncomfortable but in a good way.
Dave and I have both started feeling restless and uncomfortable with life. We have felt for awhile that God is preparing us for something. We talk a lot about how we don’t want to go back to “normal” after Carmen dies. Not that our previous normal life was bad but Carmen has given us a glimpse of a far more fulfilling life. A life where we are giving of ourselves.
We want to live for something more than accumulation and our own happiness. Even if it means giving up comfortable lives, we want to let go and be led. But, gosh, that is SCARY! I’m scared of the possibilities and the sacrifices we might have to make. I imagine myself kicking, screaming, and holding on for dear life to all that is easy and convenient. But I am more scared of not doing anything and letting opportunities pass us by. I do hope that God doesn’t ask me to go somewhere with no air conditioning. I truly detest being hot!!!!!!!!!
We have no idea what the future holds. Right now we have two little girls to care for and love. We are confident that God has plans for us. Just like He had a plan for a little girl in Guatemala.
Thank you God for showing up and showing off in Carmen’s life!
Carmen and me
Hi Lana!
What a precious person you are. I’ve really enjoyed keeping up with your blog the last few months. My latest news is that I’ve decided to leave New York and move a little closer to family. I’m doing a short-term freelance patternmaking project in Mississippi but hope to return to Oklahoma soon.
I share your feeling about wanting more out of life. As I look back on my past, there are ways I wish I could have already done more for others. The Lord will continue to lead you, even as He has led thus far, though I’ve found there are delays along His path and sometimes I want to move faster than He wants me to. Merry Christmas to all of you!
Love,
Valerie
Thank you, Lana and Valerie, for inspiring words. I am anxious to move further and greater, as well. Yet, complacency is so much easier. I’ve recently read words of prophecy regarding the Lord’s directions. It was said that the winds will come to relight the embers in our souls. And, in the last three days since that prophecy the winds have, indeed, been blowing strongly. And, now your words of vision are reaching deep inside. You are such ministers of God’s Light. Blessings and Love, Betty.
Lana you are, for sure, one of the most special persons I know!
(I wish I could write as well as I read your words, but I don’t know how to express myself in english! =/)
I agree with you, life is much more than accumulation and I admire you and Dave so much for being such corageous persons to accept this fact and not complain about it, like the most part do.
I don’t know if you get my english words and thoughts…hehe…but anyways, I just needed to try.
And this is a beutiful picture of you and Carmen! She looks like “There’s nothing better than mom”
Juliana
Hi Lana, As you can see you already are giving of yourself and making a difference in many people’s lives. I am reading Psalm 91 many times now but only I remember “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” Ps91-1 Actually I had to copy that, I only remember few words, but like you I want to be in that secret place. I don’t think it is a fun place. I can not think of any stories of any one who gave all to God and had a great time here. None of the Apostles, Martin Luther King jr., or Mother Theresa had the life of Rielly. I don’t think it has anything to do with where you live or even how much you have (like Air conditioning) it is a matter of the heart. The ones I mention had a broken heart for the lost, forgotten, or those cast off as less than equal. They gave their all and some even their life. Their reward I dont think can be described. Look at you and Dave Lana, you both gave up the life you planned and accepted the life God gave you. You have given up all to care for Carmen. I can hardly imagine the hurt and pain you live every day. Like the others your reward can not be described. I sure hope all this makes sense. It is way to long for me to know. I mean to say a good thing. God bless. In Christ, Joe
Thank you Joe. Yes, what you said makes sense, actually lots of sense. You said a very good thing, reminding us of others who focused on what God placed in their hearts rather than where they were or what they had.
Currently, I’m reading Andrew Murray’s book about doing God’s will. Every chapter reminds me that God’s purpose is that I do His will always and in everything. His will is the best that life has to offer, and we’ll be greatly blessed if we’re willing to take what He has for us and carry out His plan.
Years ago, a speaker came to our church and said that on our Christian journey we come to a great chasm and the only way across is accepting God’s plan for our lives. He said many stay on the side they’re on, with many ups and downs, always fearing that God will expect something they don’t want to give, but that those who accept God’s will in everything are carried across to a higher life where they continue to grow and grow, still having ups and downs but on a higher level, a faith level.
I don’t remember the source, but I love the quote, “God gives the very best to those who leave the choice with Him.”
Lana, your and Dave’s desires make me so happy. I continually pray that God will give you both great faith, much fruit, and deep love for Him and others. He is obviously doing a mighty work in your lives.
Love, Mom
I feel the same way, that I could never go back to normal life after this. I’ve been given a gift of knowing what true fulfillment is. It is such a joy to care for Amelia. I’ve never once dreaded getting up in the middle of the night to tend to her. I’ve never been annoyed that it takes a solid hour to do her medicine and breathing treatments in the morning before I can get on with my day. It’s a joy to be able to suction the saliva out of her mouth and make her more comfortable. It’s really shown me that when you are doing what God has called you to do, the everyday details are a joy, not an annoyance or burden.
Amen, Sarah. Well said. I am so blessed. God gave me a gift to work with the dying & bereaved. It is a joy to facilitating Good Grief Clubs. It took a long time to listen~ then follow God’s plan for me. I am certain there is more to come. It’s scary (in a good way) to think what the plan is.
God Bless.
monica
Lana – After reading this post I went to read another blog that I keep up with and she had posted this music video. The lyrics seem to mimic what you are saying. Take a look…I think you will like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw&eurl=http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded
I’d like to read “Reckless Faith” too. I loved the way you put it: “This is the kind of book that makes me very uncomfortable but in a good way.” I love and don’t like those books! One Jennifer Burke recommended to me that is also excellent is “Same Kind of Different As Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. http://www.samekindofdifferentasme.com It’s a really easy read, i highly recommend it! thanks for your challenging words – it’s far too easy to stay complacent. I want God to use me too! You are often in my prayers. I know God has an awesome plan for your family after He takes Carmen home to be with Him! -Wendy
Lana -
Not to diminish in the slightest anything you’ve said or that God is doing in and through you and Dave, which is profound, but you’re not alone. I know several people from around the world, myself included, that are sensing this deep soul stirring… God is calling His Church.