What Will People Say?
Consider yourself warned! Some of you are not going to like this post.
The doctors and nurses surrounding us don’t seem to think that Carmen has much life left ahead of her. As Lana has written previously, Carmen’s body is simply wearing out. To be sure, Lana and I are absolutely confident that God can heal Carmen. Yet we are also confident that He is God whether He chooses to heal her or not. So while we continue to ask God for a miracle, we are also doing everything we can to prepare for Carmen’s funeral so that if the time comes we will have a few less things to worry about.
About two months ago, we visited a funeral home and talked through several options. A couple of weeks ago, we visited a cemetery and did likewise. This past weekend, Lana prepared the funeral program while I wrote the first draft of Carmen’s eulogy. In many ways, it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Yet it was also one of the easiest things because the imprint of her life on ours has been so incredibly vivid. I am not going to share it with you now. Lord willing, I’ll never share it with you if God chooses to heal Carmen.
But it really got me thinking about my own eulogy. What will people say about me when I’m gone? What impact, if any, will I have made? What legacy will I leave behind? These questions might seem morbid but I think they are important questions.
So here’s your chance…if there are any brave souls among you. If you could write your own eulogy, what would it say?
Hi it is me Jenn Sanchez (Vanessa’s mommy). We met your beautiful family at the conference this year and ate most of our meals together! We are so blessed to have met Carmen and such amazing people who God chose to care for her. We are thinking of you. Your site is beautiful. Sending lots of hugs to you all.
Jenn (Vanessa’s mommy)
I hope mine will say, “She was a true character. Blessed and chosen by God and displayed His presence continually.” I’m afraid it will say, “Betty who? Obviously, God has a sense of humor.” Glad I will be singing and dancing with Jesus and not here. I thank Him for you folks and your NY parents. Certainly, you’re all the Joy of the Lord. Blessings, Betty.
HI, JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL. WE TOO HAVE BEEN THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT ABIGAILS FUNERAL. ITS SO DIFFICULT BUT SOMETHING WE WANT TO DO AS WE WILL BE TOO EMOTIONAL AT THE TIME AND REALLY DONT WANT TO MISS ANYTHING OUT.
LOVE KAREN X
I am praying for that miracle too for little Carmen, while still praying for strength for all of you. You two have been a true inspiration and we are so glad to have had the opportunity to meet…because of Carmen and Riley. Thinking of you and sending our hugs, Nicki (Riley’s Mommy)
Hi, I have no idea what anyone would say about me but hopefully “he was a Christian” thats good enough. You have made an impact just by doing this. Sharing your heart and your lives with us. I pray Gods peace be with you. In Christ, Joe
I wish for my eulogy to say all the things that I’m not, “She was a patient, humble woman, who always put the needs of others first.” Got a lot of work ahead of me for that to be true. We’re praying God chooses to “insert a miracle” in Carmen’s life (that was a Dr. Batt’s reference). Much love to you, Lana, Lauren and Carmen.
Dearest Carmen,
I hope and pray with every fiber in my being that you prove the doctors all wrong! Not too sure about my eulogy but I definitely want Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb on the wake playlist. I also want my funeral to be a big Irish party – no tears!
Hugs and prayers,
Kim
Probably something like, “She was married to that crazy Dave.” Just kidding! My biggest hope is that people will say that I lived a life pleasing to God and that He most definitely said “Well done my good and faithful servant” when I showed up in Heaven. And that I made a difference in this world. And that I stood up for the weak and the weary and the downtrodden. Not sure they would say any of that though…me and God have a lot of work to do if any of that is going to be said!
If someone would like to sing “My Redeemer Lives” at my funeral, that would be excellent! Not a typical funeral song but I love that song.
Wow, what a poignant, yet beautiful post. God Bless all of you and May God Bless Carmen!
I will be thinking of you this weekend…
Love and Hopeful Prayers,
Becky
I hope people say that I loved others with the grace and compassion of Christ and that I made a difference in their lives.
Your family continues to be in my nightly prayers.
Perhaps somehting like “that crazy woman with a ton of kids, had cancer, husband had a heart attack and they went on adopting more babies”. Or perhaps “the woman who didn’t know when to quit but had tons of faith and love for God and life”.
Praying for your Carmen daily. Your faith inspires me.
I would hope that it could be said that I was one of His lambs and I did my best to be the Christian that He wanted me to be. I think my best isn’t usually quite enough but I try.
Many thoughts of Dave, Lana, Lauren, Carmen and especially their NY grandparents who are special to me.
Your family is a living miracle. Truly.
Im glad someone will be writing it for me. We never see the things about ourselves that others see. I wish I was able to make arrangments for Molly Grace. I just have not been able to do anything. Like you guys I will hold on with the chance of miracle until the very end.
I am praying I never get to read that eulogy (for Carmen)…..you are a very brave and faithful family, and one way or another, He will provide Carmen with peace.
Dave,
I think it’s not morbid but very important to look at your life from the view of “deathbed” so to speak. It gives a different perspectives and focuses on what’s really important. When I have a choice between what’s comfortable (which is often the mediocre) and what’s a challenge that might glorify God, I have to look at what life I will want to have lived when I’m about to die. Then the answer becomes much easier, though it’s often still a struggle to actually do what’s harder.
I haven’t given a thought to what people might say about me, because the thought is depressing. As Lana said, all that counts is that hopefully God will say “Well done, good and faithful servant” or take me anyway though I haven’t lived up to my and His goals.
Interestingly, I had a few days during my time in Germany in 2006 when I was sure I was about to die in a car accident while going to visit my parents the following weekend. I wrote my will and what I wanted to be said to my family (who are not Christians) during my funeral, and I wrote what I wanted on my gravestone, which is the last verse from the song “Come to Jesus” by Chris Rice:
And with your final heart beat kiss the world good-bye and go in peace and laugh on glory’s side and fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, and live!
There a nice video playing this song on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtR6o65IzuE
I am a bit late responding to this blog – but here goes:
I won’t be around for my funeral so I would rather hear during my lifetime if I did anything that made a difference in someone’s life – - And, don’t cry because I have had a good life with MANY blessings – which came primarily in the form of my family!! Just make sure whoever does the eulogy says that!
As for what really counts – Lana already said it – to hear from God, “Well done good and faithful servant” is what it is all about.
Claudia is right – it is not morbid to consider what is truly important in life – it comes down to our relationship to God and what we have done to make a difference in the lives of others (i.e. did we love others as Jesus would?). Everything else is mostly trivia and abundant blessings (i.e. good food, good friends, nice things, etc – nice but not the most important things)
just got this site in an email – - check it out – - very lovely and pertains to our conversations:
http://www.dashpoemmovie.com