Happy 18 month birthday Carmen! We love you very, very much. We celebrate each month of your life.
Thank you Dee for your generous and thoughtful gift! The girls love their new clothes and stuffed animals! You made our day!
Archive - January, 2008
Relational Surgery
If you told me five years ago that I would write what I’m about to write, I would not have believed you. I would have laughed at you. I might have even punched you.
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As I review 2007 in my mind and consider all the things for which I am thankful, it is a particular person who tops my list. But before I tell you who it is, I need to provide just a little bit of the back-story.
I grew up in a Christian home. While I’m oversimplifying a bit, that meant that we prayed before every meal, went to church every Sunday, occasionally read the Bible as a family and did not watch bad movies (at least not really bad movies). I went to our church’s youth group most weeks because it was fun and there were cute girls there every once in awhile. I was the rebel in my family, although I didn’t really get into that much trouble. Believe me, it’s not that I didn’t try to get into trouble; it’s just that my dad was a police officer and my mom filled various positions within the educational system over the years. Between the two of them, they knew everyone. And I do mean everyone! If I did something, they knew about it before I got home. But, alas, I am digressing just a bit…
About the time I entered junior high school, my dad decided to go to seminary to become a pastor. And that is when things started to go south, at least between him and me. As my dad progressed through seminary, he accepted additional responsibilities in our church and in our community. From the outside, my dad looked like a saint. But I saw him at home and he certainly was not a saint.
Please do not get me wrong. My dad was not awful. He just wasn’t the same person at home that he was in the eye of the public. I thought my dad was a hypocrite because he didn’t always practice what he preached. His “old self” was still very much a part of him. And that was hard for me to accept. While this was largely an excuse, I decided that if my dad was a real Christian, I didn’t want to be a real Christian. Sure, I was grateful for the assurance I had of going to Heaven when I die (I asked Jesus to be my savior when I was about eight years old). However, I had little intention of living my life for Christ.
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They say that time has a way of changing things. But I don’t think time actually changes a thing. It certainly doesn’t heal hurt and pain. At best, time just dulls them. In some cases time actually amplifies them. But God…God can change things. He can restore broken relationships. He can heal years of hurt, pain, anger and bitterness. He can make it enjoyable to be around someone who, at one point, you wished was not even a part of your life. God can change things. God does change things. And that’s exactly what He did between my dad and me.
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I am sure that you’ve guessed by now but just in case you haven’t, here it is. As I reflect on all the circumstances and events that surrounded my life over the past year, I am most thankful for my dad. So Dad, when you read this (and I know you will), thank you for forgiving me for all the awful things I said to you and about you while growing up. Thank you for being available and interested in spending time with my family and me now.
Thank you God for moving my dad and me past our past, for healing our relationship, for doing what only You can do.
Gotcha Day!
Today is a VERY special day! One year ago, we brought Carmen home from Guatemala. A year ago we had such hopes and dreams for our little girl. Now we hope that Carmen will feel loved and that we can keep her comfortable. And we hope and pray that Carmen will make a difference in this world and that we can share her with many others.
My mom gave us a CD with a song called “Little Hands, Little Feet”. One line says, “You were created for eternity.” Based on my understanding of the Bible, I believe that Carmen will spend eternity in Heaven. There is one particular passage, 2 Samuel 12:19-23, in which King David grieves after losing his son. He says that the child will not return to him but that he will go to the child. Many scholars believe that this verse points to babies/young children going to Heaven since they never have the ability to make a decision to follow Jesus. This makes sense to me. So I think about God choosing Carmen to have eternal life- how special she must be to Him!
A big thank you to John and Jessie for the TV for Carmen’s room for the nurses and to Bella Tunno for the bibs (www.bellatunno.com). To my Aunt Sally for making dresses for Carmen that snap all the way down the front. And to Rachinee and Tatiana for bringing Lauren home from school. And to Monica for playing card games with Lauren today!
“The One Year Book of Hope” by Nancy Guthrie
I am reading a wonderful book called The One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie (www.nancyguthrie.com). Nancy has an older son and lost two children to Zellweger Syndrome, a rare genetic disease in which the children live about 6 months. After her daughter, Hope, passed away, Nancy’s husband underwent a vasectomy because they knew they had a 25% chance of having another child with Zellweger Syndrome. A year and a half after Hope’s death, Nancy discovered that she was pregnant. This baby also had Zellweger Syndrome. Gabriel was born and lived 183 days. Rather than feeling incredibly sorry for themselves, the Guthries chose to view their children as gifts and blessings. From my own experience, this is a choice. I can choose to groan and moan about my horrible luck (and this is very, very tempting at times). I mean, how unlikely that we would adopt a seemingly healthy child from Guatemala who later would be diagnosed with an ultra-rare fatal genetic disease? I can choose to view Carmen as an incredible gift. I have to give her back much too soon but right now I can enjoy my very precious little girl.
This week Carmen has three doctors’ appointments. Physical medicine specialist, orthotics to measure for ankle braces, and appointment to schedule G-tube surgery. I clogged up Carmen’s NG-tube again with Prevacid- eek! Today I soaked the Prevacid tablet in Coke so hopefully no more clogs!
Just Rearranging
We spent this morning getting Carmen’s room as convenient as possible for her nurses and for us. We added shelves to store all of her medical supplies and rearranged furniture for easy access to her suction machine and nebulizer and feeding pump. We are planning to put a small TV and DVD player in her room so that the nurses have something to do while she sleeps. Carmen’s room is very small so it is getting rather packed full! Hopefully in our next home, she will have a big main floor bedroom.
